dealing with unsupportive/uneducated family members.

I didn't discuss it with anyone until I had made my decision...and then I told my sister, my best friend and they were the only ones!

I didn't want or need anyone's opinion on my choice -- but I tell my sister and BF everything. I knew they would ask questions of me, have questions that I should get answers to but they would be supportive, whether they agreed or not! I told a few more friends as I got closer to my date, but again only people I knew would be supportive, whether they agreed or not.

I did tell my mom the week before, but only because I didn't think it would be fair to my sister to break the news if I died. I have actually been surprised that she hasn't been a PITA about it but has been supportive (as supportive as she's capable of being).

For anyone else that asks, I've been on a medically supervised program that is extremely low calorie, high protein, low carb, I quit sugar and alcohol and I work out 4-6 times a week. Somewhere in that sentence their eyes glaze and the conversation ends!

I had the same problem. I live in Shreveport, La and had to travel to New Orleans to attend the Seminar. My family and friends are against weight loss surgery because of what patients went through in the past. I took my significant other with me to the Seminar. Being able to see and hear first hand to how the procedures were performed and how much things have advanced was enough to convince them that it's much safer and now I have a support team. Advise your family and friends to research for themselves and watch Youtube videos trust me it helps. Good luck on your journey!!

I always ask myself "what is the real motive - conscious or subconscious - driving them to disapprove?" Is it simple lack of knowledge, is it fear for our safety, is it sabotage?

Sometimes it helps if we can keep an open mind to their discomfort long enough to find the clues. Sometimes just asking "why" can open a dialogue that allows that person to move to a better place of being able to support you. It may not change anything but it might help you better deal with it, and with your feelings about their disapproval.

And, as others have said, we can choose who we share this journey with. Personally, I've found it so much easier being open about it because anyone who is around me for any length of time is bound to notice anyway that I don't eat like non-WLS people do. It's hard to hide, I've found.

It's not their life to live. You can nod and smile and say "thank you for your concern".

The one that always shuts them up (and I still use it because now I live off-grid and it still applies) is
"It's okay that you don't understand" ...and drop the mic.

OMG! Thank you for that... I'm going to use it this holiday season, it's perfect! I have a family member that keeps asking and prying into my weight-loss and how I took the easy way out... blah, blah, blah! Now I know what I'm going to say.

There were only a few people I told, but all of them were supportive. But here's what I planned to say if anyone said anything like that. It probably won't help with the person in the medical field, but for others, it might.

"I can see how you might feel that way. I was skeptical too, before I did tons of research on the subject."

I figured this was a tactful way to let someone know that I knew more about the subject than they did, and I felt free to disregard their opinion.

Maybe that's how they convey concern but that's your life and decision. You're in the right age so go for it. Anyway, communities like this are here to support you and there are people like you who understand your goals.

My issue is those family members/friends who say they are supportive to your face, but then say things like :

• "I'll respect whatever decision you make BUT....(insert stupid argument)."
• "You are doing great losing weight...have you changed your mind about surgery?"
• "Congrats on losing XX lbs (pre-surgery).....see... I knew you could do it naturally."
• "I just hate you will never be able to eat "normal" again.
• "I heard that my friend's sister's sister-in-law had a cousin who had WLS and (insert terrible outcome) happened to her/him.
• "I'm sure you will do great a first, but it's not a long term solution"
• "Why don't you wait until you have money saved for plastics before getting WLS.... because your aunt's brother-in law had a son whose wife who had WLS and she ended up with a lot of excess skin"

and this latest gem from my mother.....

• "Oh, so you'll be on a liquid diet during Thanksgiving...I guess our Thanksgiving dinner is ruined!!"

Feel free to add any classic lines of "SUPPORT" you have experienced.