How to you stay on track during times of stress and grief?

kamac
on 9/3/18 7:09 pm
VSG on 07/09/18

Thanks so much, CC. I'm very sorry for your loss. Expected or unexpected, the pain is still there. Big hugs right back to you.

You are right- I can't change the outcome, I can only cherish the time we have together. And slipping back into compulsive eating is only going to interfere with my ability to do that.

I'm so glad I posted, as you peeps truly do help keep things real. And you've been such a great support to me throughout. Thanks again, CC.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

PCBR
on 9/3/18 6:05 pm, edited 9/3/18 11:13 am

I?m sorry this is is happening to you all. I have not yet been put to the test this way.

Sounds like you know what you need to do. Follow through for you and for your family. You know the answer to what you?re feeling is not a Big Macs. The shame spiral of going in that same direction is going to make it all worse. But again, you know this.

If you really can?t eat, at least keep getting hydrated. Maybe find a shaker bottle and take along a shake you can drink. Think of it as not adding to the problem.

HW: 260 - SW: 250

GW (Surgeon): 170 - GW (Me): 150

kamac
on 9/3/18 7:30 pm
VSG on 07/09/18

Thanks PCBR. I've got my shaker bottle in the fridge, protein shake all made and ready to go. Like you say, it's a matter of not making things worse. That's a good phrase for me to keep in mind.

I've been pretty spoiled in life, as this is the first time I'm having to face the unexpected loss of someone I care so deeply about. Life is beautiful, and so goddamn unfair. Accepting loss is so difficult. But like you say, the shame spiral of compulsive eating only make it worse.

Thanks for listening, PCBR, and for your words of support.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

PCBR
on 9/4/18 6:19 am

It is super unfair. And when someone really vital get**** it feels even more so. I wish you didn't have to go through this. I wish no one did.

Also, I hope you don't feel piled on. I also hope you don't feel horrible. How you reacted to this is all too human. You're not broken--or at least no more broken than the rest of humanity. Like I said, you seem to have a handle on this and the next steps.

HW: 260 - SW: 250

GW (Surgeon): 170 - GW (Me): 150

kamac
on 9/5/18 4:30 am
VSG on 07/09/18

Thanks, PCBR. I don't feel piled on. Reality check is why I posted. It makes such a difference to hear what you already know from others.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

kamac
on 9/3/18 6:10 pm
VSG on 07/09/18

Just want to say thanks again to everyone. I'm taking your advice to heart.

I was able to leave the hospital a little early today, so I've had more time and energy to prepare for the next few days. I made a double sized protein shake, and it's waiting in the fridge for me to take tomorrow. I've got a round roast in the slow cooker, to make shredded beef. I figure it will be soft and easy to eat the next few days.

My phone is set up to alert when it's time to eat during the day. I've prepared 3 days worth of vitamins, each in little jars, and have lined them up on my dressing table where I'll see them. And I've got post-it notes up on my mirror to remind me to call both my therapist and bariatric center in the morning.

Still feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, but it's a start.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

PCBR
on 9/3/18 6:15 pm

Cool. There's a lot out of your control right now. Think of how you fuel your body as something you CAN influence. Being strong and healthy will lift everyone around you.

HW: 260 - SW: 250

GW (Surgeon): 170 - GW (Me): 150

kamac
on 9/3/18 8:15 pm
VSG on 07/09/18

"Being strong and healthy will lift everyone around you"- I love that. Thanks, PCBR.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

(deactivated member)
on 9/3/18 7:31 pm
VSG on 01/12/17

You have gotten a lot of great advice, and I don't have anything different to offer. Just want to say I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time and also that I think it's awesome you're so open to all the advice given to you.

kamac
on 9/3/18 8:13 pm
VSG on 07/09/18

Thanks, mershmellow. I guess if there's one thing I've finally come to learn in life, it's that support is always valuable; whether it's kind words or a hard well-deserved kick in the butt. It's why I love this forum so much.

Kara
Age: 43, Height: 5'8"
Highest Weight: 420; Opti Starting Weight: 395; Surgery Weight: 371;
Current Weight: 322.1; Goal Weight: 160

"Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful."
-Vincent Van Gogh

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