Supportive to Bitter...

"Come back in five years and see if you feel the same way." - I'm sorry Kat, but I do not appreciate this kind of "gate keeping" attitude. With all due respect, just because I do not have as much experience as you, or as much experience as you think is necessary, does not mean that I am incapable of forming a valid opinion in this situation.

It may be that the first 100 pounds is a statistical given, I don't know, I couldn't find any of the studies that stated that. However, even if it is, the patient should STILL receive credit for losing it IN MY OPINION. We give our children credit for graduating high school, even though that is a statistical given, why not this?

You may feel differently. You may feel that people should not receive credit until they are 200 pounds down and 5 years out like you. That is ok. There is probably someone out there who feels like since you haven't gone through the 7 year rough patch where a lot gain back some weight, you haven't really done all the work yet.

I am not arguing with the statistics, or the honeymoon phase, or any of that. I am simply saying that I think that everyone's weight loss and success should be celebrated, even if they are new.

Haley you are right for me 7.5 years was when I hit my first rocky patch or gain ... it all is relative to where you are on this path... none of us are perfect or immune. Important thing is we are here getting support and fighting and keeping it in the front of our minds. Learning from others and offering kind encouragement.

I don't think she's downplaying the success of losing the first 100lbs. It is to be celebrated. I do think she's emphasizing how hard it is to keep it off because it's less the surgery doing the work & more the patient doing it.

Everyone is entitled to opinions, to be sure -- but some are backed by feelings and others by experience and scientific data. Just like a woman who has just given birth to her first baby may feel that she knows everything about parenting -- a woman who has raised several may have more experience to share.

Feelings are not facts.

I used five years because that is what is considered a WLS veteran on this site. I do not have five years, and I could care less about getting "credit" or praise from other people. I did not say that I am better because I lost 220 pounds -- it was YOU who brought that in.

I don't "celebrate" my weight loss because it's simply something I did for my health and well-being -- not a life accomplishment. I don't require other people's praise or credit.

No where did I say that someone should not get "credit" -- you can celebrate whatever you wish and in any way you choose. You can certainly choose to ignore or "not appreciate" my opinion.

However, like yourself, I am entitled to have one -- even if you do not like it.

Haley,

I am 23 years post op an early WLS surgery.

The way I see it is....This conversation has morphed into TWO different things. These different view points are not mutually exclusive. I think both of you are right and this is why.

The REALITY is : Surgeons DO get the credit for initial weight loss, and 100 lbs is common...as is weight regain. I have not pulled up data, but her numbers seem about right from the experiences I have had, and others i know who had a similar surgery for weight loss.

. It takes dedication to maintain that weight loss for years on end. Everyone arrives at their destination on their own schedule. Discussion here helps us to understand ourselves and others responses to it...Using others for a sounding board and emotional support can help reduce our stresses and make the things we do to attain or goals much more effective.

"SHOULD " they get that credit. IS a WHOLE different discussion.You make valid points.

Agreed, Weight loss is not a walk in the park -surgery or not. We have all seen people try to out eat their surgery and Disobey EVERY rule. They do NOT get good results.

Part of what we do here on this board is teaching, answering questions for those who want a gastric surgery or who have had one and need to know what is normal...for them to expect.. example some have no appetite, excessive gas constipation,plateau, dehydration, feedback, dumping syndrome...we can help the to make good and quick choices to mitigate internal damage.

I totally agree this is her MOM she should be able to discuss anything with her.... mom needs to suck it up, Lina is her baby. Just my feeling as a Mom. Shame on her. Can't imagine being jealous of my children and not sharing in their joys.

Not all women are good mothers. My oldest sister is a horrible mother and both of her sons unfortunately are proof of it. She is a very self-centered person who thrives on drama and bringing others around her down.

The OP's mom may just be tired of hearing everyday how much weight her daughter has lost. Or she could just be one of those people who gets jealous when other people do good at something and try to sabotage them.

I disagree. She may be a mother, but that doesn't negate the fact that she is an individual, with a right to express her feelings to her adult child.

While Mom expressed she was tired of hearing about the weight loss, I wonder if she is just tired of hearing about the process. I know I was obsessed the first year, with chronicling what foods agreed (or didn't) with me, with carb counts, the tastes of different protein shakes, the frustration of stalls, etc. If the OP is sharing all that minutae with her, no doubt she is just done with hearing about it. Most anyone would be.

I agree with your last 2 sentences/paragraph but it didn't sound like op was doing that just her weight loss victories.

'Should'-- so many things should be that aren't. since when did motherhood lend itself to being some supreme state of selfless understanding?? Mothers are humans first. It may seem foreign or awkward to us to sabotage our kids- or otherwise be unsupportive- but this Mom may not know another way to interact with her child.

I do not discuss this with my Mom, or set any other expectation on her to help me succeed. I've been pleasantly surprised the time she has asked what she can prepare that I can eat- but that process of thought for her come with 'just not getting' why I don't eat rice.

OP chose surgery- her family did not. She needs to learn to work her life around them, they should not have to rearrange their lives around her. Any support she gets in the interim is an unintended bonus.