How People Treat You

Fat phobia, hate and discrimination are real and damaging. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-healing/201308/ i-see-fat-people

The anthropologist in me would be interested to see how these factors do or do not vary across regions, localities and social and ethnic groups. I bet there is wide variation.

I think it's a very American thing. Possibly European too, though the only Europe I've been to is the European side of Istanbul.

When I went to Turkey, I was obese...morbidly obese. But the culture there seems to be much more accepting of and attracted to "volumptuous" female bodies.

I hadn't felt so attractive since my long lost youth (which was wasted then because I was so hyper-aware of how imperfect I felt my body was.) When I went to Marmaris, I even bought a swim suit...a BIKINI, that they had in my size. ALL the stores carried large sizes for women. Not granny styles either, but fashionable, beautiful styles.

I felt so free and so un-self-conscious in that damn bikini! I still have it...but have only worn the top since. With a tank top over it.

1. The reactions I get from strangers is definitely different. I don't get stared at when I'm at a restaurant anymore. I don't get stared at, period, unless I'm wearing something that I know will draw attention (I love T-shirts with funny sayings now!). People treat me kinder, with more respect. I get smiles when I used to be ignored or given the frowning "up and down" once over. I used to see--and sometimes hear--people remarking about my size. Nobody pays any attention to me now, I blend in with everyone else. Men open doors for me with a nod and a smile. Salespeople are nicer. Young people, kids, teenagers no longer make open snide comments or point and laugh.

2. Fat stigma...I was always an outgoing, confident fat person, and that hasn't changed. I also always dressed well when I was huge, and would never have dressed in the super casual way I do now. Yet I am treated better dressed in leggings and a t-shirt than I was when I was dressed up before.

3. I accept it graciously, but I also feel sad for the old me, and people like the old me, who still have to deal with the treatment I used to get. And I think how sad it was for the people who treated me like that because they never got a chance to know me.

Lucky for me...I had and have a great group of real friends and loving family. They loved me before, and love me now, and treat me the same.

Cathy H nailed this one. That is exactly the difference in how people are treated between being obese and normal weight.