Article Share: Roxane Gay

Recently out of curiosity, I googled "Roxane Gay, weight lost surgery" and found this article. I was so touched by Dr. Rehrl's insight and empathy. I hope that he is just one of a movement of physicians dedicated to treating people with obesity better, more effectively and more humanely. Btw, you do not need to be familiar with Roxane Gay's work to follow the article.

https://opmed.doximity.com/roxane-gay-a-physicians-teacher-o f-obesity-ac81a298cecb

Thanks for sharing and I hyperlinked the link for you

Thank you so much!

I have long believed that sexual assault is a prime trigger of SMO for many people. Not saying this is true for everyone of course! But I believe it to be, based on people I have known, a sadly common factor.

I absolutely concur.

I hate that no one caught this when RG was a young girl, and that she and so many needed to carry the burden of that. It?s crushing to know that she?s one of so many. Our society has to do better. I'm happy that this doctor sees that and is spreading the word.

Yes, it is sad, and all too common. Life is very beautiful, but it's not easy, and for some it's much harder than for others. I appreciate what this doctor wrote very much, and hope it will be broadly viewed.

I wish the first surgeon that I saw would read this article. She did not listen to me and kept telling me that her diet plan was the only way to lose weight. Disregarding my own knowledge of my body and what had worked for me in the past. I mistakenly believed as a woman she would have more empathy towards her patients. When I was supposed to see her for the second appointment I cancelled, I could not face being humiliated again. Fortunately for me the other doctor in her practice is wonderful. He treated me with respect and really listened to me. I am so thankful that after working through many issues with insurance he was able to perform my surgery.

I read Roxane Gay's book Hunger and it made me cry. I felt bad that she was unable to tell her family what had happened to her, but I also understood. For me it was 25 years before I could put the word rape to what had happened to me when I was 19. It happened when I was in the military and the only person that I told, my then current boyfriend (now ex-husband) told me it was my fault. The person who raped me was one of his best friends. So for the longest time I believed that I was to blame. I remember afterwards soaking in a tub crying until the water was cold. I didn't tell anyone else. This was one of the defining events in my life, and I didn't start gaining weight until after this happened. Not that I can blame it entirely on this, because I am the one who put the food in my mouth. I am now 60 and did not tell my mother until a few years ago that I was raped. I was afraid that she would also blame me for what happened, and say I should not have put myself in that situation. I often wonder what would have become of the girl I was before this happened. Where would she be, and how would her life have turned out? But you can't change the past.

In the late 80's I went on Optifast. In the support group that I was in everyone except for one person admitted to having some type of trauma in their life. For me that was the moment when I knew there was a connection between trauma and weight gain. I couldn't understand why this had not been studied. I still don't believe much has been done to prove this link between the two.

Julia, I am so sorry you've had to deal with that. I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you needed and deserved when this happened to you. You are stronger than you realize to come through all that and also to share your story with us all. Sending you a virtual hug and support.

Julia, I?m burning with anger at how your ex treated you and thank god he is your ex! I wish I had a time machine and could go back and help 19 year old you (my god, you were a baby). I?m sorry that the world failed you. I do think you sharing could help people who have had similar experiences. Thanks for being so open.