BED....who to approach?

My journey was quasi-similar...it is excellent advice you have given. Thank you for sharing it!

I'm so glad that you are brave enough to tackle this issue head on. I think you should go to the psychiatrist first. Maybe someone who specializes in eating disorders. I'm not sure if surgeons are familiar with bed enough to give you help in that area since I think their expertise is mostly with surgery. It probably varies from surgeon to surgeon.

First of all, as someone with severe BED who once weighed over 750 pounds, let me tell you that posting is quite courageous. Anyone who tells you BED can be fixed by surgery, malabsorption, or willpower is 100% wrong. We develop BED because it is about control and not the food. No surgery will treat BED except a lobotomy...and that's not recommended treatment!

Second of all, the #1 thing to do to yourself right now? Be kind. Hard as that is. What you are doing may be one of the hardest things you ever may find yourself doing. It is no small undertaking.

Starting with the PCP or psychiatrist is helpful. I would start with therapy ASAP if you can. This can give you the social support to help keep motivated. And, it can also help you feel like you are doing something.

Definitely address it with the surgeon's office in addition to your PCP, though. Speaking as someone with BED who had surgery twice, and as a clinical therapist too, the outcomes are better if we have treatment first.

Again, this is not about surgery type, willpower, food, or any other rigmarole BS. At some point you were, perhaps, hurt very badly, and the BED, if you have it, is how your mind survived. It sucks now, but try to be kind to yourself and remember that, if you do have an eating disorder, this is what may have helped you survived through pain and trauma.

It is not your fault. And, there are many of us who struggle as you do. when it sucks the most try to remember that :)

I was hoping you'd chime in here :)

Thank you for saying this so beautifully. I always watch for your posts (and Gwen's) because I sense your deep understanding and clear thinking.

I appreciate it, and fully disclose I was not always this way. I made a hot mess look neat. I was not a very kind or compassionate person for many years, because my pain made me angry, irritable, and generally contemptible. I am glad I came here long after I got my head out of my butt and grew up in my 30s, heh.

I only think clearly now after many years of therapy post-trauma and my own recovery.

That began after a doctor told me at 750+ that I'd be permanently disabled and never lose weight...and that spurred me to, well, do the opposite. I was also lucky and had the right therapist at the right time many years ago, and have no illusions that things could be very different (and far more negative) if that hadn't happened.

Part of why I talk about this and am quite honest about the fact I was not a person of the best character, necessarily, is because I don't think many people do. Recovery is messy and chaotic. It is not linear. It sucks. And, if the crazy fat girl from New Jersey who used to weigh as much as 4-7 people can do it, there is hope for everyone, as I am no special snowflake by any means.

I am full of fat and hubris the same as anyone else.

Recovery is daunting. It is hard and arduous, whether we are recovering from addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and so forth. However, it is absolutely possible.

"I make a hot mess look neat"--I'm gonna have to steal that one!

Seriously, all that you said, is why I watch for your words. I send you virtual love for (unwittingly) being a kindred spirit to me.

I've got a call into my case manager at the mental health clinic I go to. I see my surgeon on the 25th for the three month post op checkup. I should of mentioned that I had VSG 3-14 of this year. I've tried to add my date but my surgeon isn't in the database.

i thank you for the replies! I am a bit overwhelmed with the massive amount of information to be honest but that's a good thing, information is power in my book! It never fails to amaze me how helpful this place is. Sometime some bad info but soooo much help from people who know the struggle. I am on the run today but will be reading in depth tonight.

I've got tears in my eyes as I type this. The comfort of knowing that you're not alone in a struggle such as this...just wow. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for the replies!