Maintenance Motivation

How do you personally motivate yourself to follow your eating/lifestyle rules in the long term?

Motivation is a relatively short-lived thing, and for me, it's not nearly the same feeling now as it was at first (of course). Thus far I've just had to commit to doing the thing I don't want to do in order to keep the weight off. It's mentally challenging but I don't want to have to go through the whole process again.

So I guess my best answer is...fear? But, the title of your post doesn't really match what you're asking.

Thanks for answering. I just wanted to post something since it's been a while and I like to be a part of this community. I changed the title :)

Did you manage to lose your little bit of regain?

Not as definitively as I'd like. I saw 127 on the scale a few days ago but today back up to 130. I'd love to be maintaining in the low 120s instead, so I'm still working on it.

When I was losing weight I had a written list of all the reasons that I wanted to lose and it was great motivation. Now I try to make a list and can't really think of a compelling reason except to feel less likely to regain and to feel a little more comfy in my clothes.

Mostly I'd just love to feel in control of my weight and not have to think about it every freakin day!

Mahonia do you really think you would finally feel in control if you were five to seven pounds lighter? Because I'm not sure seeing a certain number is going to "cure" you're thinking about it every day. Is there a possibility that on some level you are just fine right where you're at, and that itself might be the reason you're not feeling motivated?

Honestly I think if your goal is to lose the obsession with the number on your scale, some therapy or even some self-help books might be in order. Do you believe that a five or seven pound gain or loss is even noticeable to anyone other than yourself? I understand not wanting to give yourself too much leeway. It's a sticky wicket because other issues are usually involved though and thats' why I'm suggesting some outside input.

I'm older now but for a big portion of my younger life was quite slender. I was also quite obsessed with issues very similar to yours. And I managed to pass that type of destructive thinking on to my oldest daughter even though I tried every way I knew not to.

PM me if you want to visit or vent. But please consider looking at sources of information that you may not be familiar with yet. You're worth whatever it takes to get you over this hump once and for all.

Thank you for this thoughtful reply. I would love to feel in control of my weight in the sense that if I want to weigh 120 lbs, then I will make that happen. It's not that I'm not happy where I am but if I can't be 120 lbs even though I want to be, that means that maybe I am not in control and will regain. I have been diving into lots of self-help books lately and am always happy to get book recommendations!

Admittedly I don't really know your story. But I am curious WHY you want to be In The 120's.

I have been in maintenance for 4 years now and have lost and gained from 135 lbs to 113 lbs 3 different times. I don't feel like I have had regain so much as I have been looking for health. My goal was below 150 and then I settled at 130-135. Complications, surgeries etc brought me so low and I still work hard to get and keep my weight in the 120's wanting that 135 again.

I will say that Amy is spot on and you may need to talk about it or you may just need time to find your stride. This comes about year three. I don't have to work at it so much as I just have to maintain what I know works.

If you can't maintain with a bit of flex in a range of numbers then maybe you should reevaluate what that window is? If you can easily maintain 127-132 forever without beating yourself up then that should be the goal IMO

Perhaps, instead of a list of why you'd like to lose 5-6 pounds, it might be good to make a list of why you want to stay at a healthy weight? A list of all the things you can do now that you weren't able to before? Things you want to ensure you'll always be able to do in the future?

I second what Amy said about therapy. I just started seeing someone (so far I've only gone once and I go back on 6/19). I focus far too much on the number on the scale. Right now I'm sitting about 5lbs above my lowest average, but I work out a lot and my measurements are lower than they ever have been. I somehow still find it impossible to not focus on the scale, so I knew it was time to talk to someone.

It's such a tricky balance, especially as a woman, because so much influences our weight and it's so important post-WLS to stay on top of it. But, it's also important not to become obsessed. Food addiction is a real MFer because you need to continue to consume your addiction every single day and you need to pay attention to the real data that helps you do that in moderation but also not become obsessive about it. It's a terrible mental game.