How to decide on WLS

Hello,

Looking for your stories on how you got from here to there . . . what made you decide WLS was the final step for you?

I've yo yo'd with my weight for over 30 years and I'm tired of being heavy. I lost over 90 lbs about 3 years ago, got sick, moved, etc and have gained most of it back. I'm the stereotypical middle aged woman now, hormonal with a jacked up metabolism. I skip meals, etc. I'm afraid if I don't do this soon, I may never be able to. My motivation is gone. I'm so afraid of losing and regaining again, sick of stalling, sick of counting calories, sick of it all. lol I'm so tired of it all so I just gave up. but I'm tired of being fat so I know I have to do something. I will be 50 next year and I know my health will get worse if I don't figure something out.

So, how do you get from the mindset of thinking "If I could do it before, I have to change my habits anyway, so why do this risky surgery, etc" to must doing the surgery? I know statistically only 5% of us have a chance of keeping the weight off without WLS. My dh does not understand that part and he is heavy as well. You hear/read stories of people having WLS, not changing their habits and having the side effects of WLS AND gaining the weight back so that scares me. Why not just change my habits and lose the weight? WHY WLS? How do I get from here to there? I know it's a tool, but I also know my head has to be there too. It's so easy to think "why do I need surgery if I have to diet and watch what I eat anyway, right?

I go back and forth from thinking I just have to get my head back in the game, change my eating (again lol) and lose the weight to knowing my body/metabolism is so far gone that I'm not sure it can be fixed without a reset. And, if I've spent years not eating enough, skipping meals, my body was used to lower calories, how would the surgery really change that? Does that make any sense?

So, I'm looking for others who have been there to help me sort it out. Thanks in advance :)

In my case, I'm young (33 this summer) and infertile due to my weight. The infertility never bothered me much before, but I finally met and married someone I want to have kids with.

i have been overweight my whole life and I'm really good at dieting. I've been on diets since middle school, tried all the fads, diet pills, etc. I've lost pounds dozens of times, only to put it back on plus some. I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes at age 25, and have been on 2 types of insulin in the last few years.

maybe I could have done it again and lost enough weight to conceive and have a baby or two, and maybe even get some relief from diabetes meds. From my past experience however, I know I won't succeed in keeping it off long term, and needed this tool to help me keep the weight off for years to come. My future kids and my husband deserve for me to be healthy and here for a long time.

I know I will always need to be conscious of what I'm eating, but I'm using this tool to make these habits a way of life, and not just another diet.

I too was a champion dieter. I probably was on 13+ diets from 17-61. A few times I met goal, but never maintained for more than an instant. So I was ALWAYS either gaining or dieting (never maintaining). And every high weight was higher than the previous one. So at 60 when I started researching it, I had BP which couldn't be brought down to normal, was pre-diabetic, had high cholesterol, had sleep apnea, and aches/pains in my back, knees and feet. DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I realized if I was going to do it it was time. I did a lot of online research and asked a lot about maintenance after WLS from people on OH and my surgeon. I felt that the extra "tool" would help me to maintain if I used the weight loss time wisely to learn new eating habits. So far so good...

I had my VSG 2 years, 2 months ago and have been maintaining in a 3 pound range for 18 months. It is a lower range than I had ever been in since mid-teens. Is it a struggle? Some days. I follow the suggestions I learned here to get back on the wagon and to utilize my "tool" (VSG). My "real" hunger is less ("head" hunger varies but I am learning to distinguish between them). Dense protein will fill me up quickly and allow me to leverage my "tool". I avoid having things that I can't control in the house but will have bites of things when out so I don't feel deprived.

There is no guarantee that I will never regain, but I know more than I ever did as an adult about what and how to eat.

Best of luck in your decision. For me, it was the best one I ever made and all in all was easier than I expected in many ways (not all).

I am young as well (24) but I had the additional advantage of my mother having had RNY 10 years ago, so I already had an idea of how the surgery looked from an outsider perspective.

My personal reasons were me being in my 20's yet I had; high blood pressure, joint pain, weight related headaches, pre-diabetes, plus I couldn't keep up with my 3 y/o daughter or clean my house without resting.

But I know that doesn't really help you. The straw that broken the camels back for me was driving home one day and thinking about what diet I was going to try next and I thought back and realized I was 260 now, last year I was 244, year before I was 240....I had been following diets for at least 3 years and I had gained 20 pounds, and I was gaining FAST now. I had heard the 5% statistic as well and knew I had been doing my dead level best to lose weight, yet I was gaining. So I cried and felt hopeless and thought "What now? If dieting doesn't work will i just be fat forever?" and then I remembered my mom had surgery and I talked to her about it and realized it could work for me too (she has kept off 100 pounds over the past 10 years).

I got the surgery because I knew that if I didn't I would keep on gaining, be overweight my whole life, never really live like I want, and look back upset at what I could've done but didn't.

I'd gained and lost weight my entire adult life. During my more "successful" attempts, I'd lose a good 50-60 lbs (and for every one of those "better" attempts, I probably lost 10 or 20 lbs a dozen times). Then every pound - and then some - would come back. And I had over 200 lbs to lose. I finally realized there was just no way that was going to happen without a drastic intervention, and if I didn't get that weight off, I was going to cut my life short.

btw - this is no longer a risky surgery. Twenty or thirty years ago, yes, but not anymore. Techniques and mortality rates have vastly improved since then. It's one of the safer surgeries out there now (safer than hip replacement), and has really become a routine procedure.

the most important part, though, is getting your head in the right place. Yes - lots of people gain a lot of the weight back. It is really important that you remain diligent for the rest of your life to keep the weight from coming back. I often say I wish I'd had the surgery 10 or 20 years ago, but then, I'm not sure I was in the right frame of mind to do it then. I was this time.

For me it was understanding that aside from the restriction which is the "tool" we all benefit from, surgery typically provides a metabolic advantage. For reasons that are not fully understood yet, WLS leads to immediate changes within the body that allow for weight to come off more easily. So it is an entirely different fight than the diet battles fought prior to WLS. The surgery helps us lose. I know maintaining the weight loss is the real challenge, but so far I could not be happier that I had VSG.

Thanks everyone! I think that's the part I struggle with the most. We have to make the lifestyle changes regardless so I'm still trying to wrap my head around the benefit of going thru surgery in order to do that. Part of me knows for some reason it just doesn't seem to work or last without the tool otherwise none of us would need it but logically, it's hard to understand so it's confusing. lol

When people say tool, I find it helpful to really think of it as a tool. Like say you need something up high and can't reach, you've been jumping and stretching for 50 years now trying to reach that up high thing but haven't been able to yet and now someone is saying "hey they've got this great tool called a step ladder, it's safe and everyone who uses it says it helped them reach up high. Some people don't use it properly and fall off, but if you use it right you can totally reach that thing you need" and you're replying "well if I'll have to reach this up high thing anyway, why do I need to go through the trouble of buying and bringing home the step ladder?"

The surgery is a tool that has allowed so many people to change their lifestyle and therefore lose weight, where they would have never been capable of changing their lifestyle if not for surgery. You have dieted before, we all have, meaning we've all tried to change our lifestyles on our own and it never worked out for us. We needed something more the help us change our lifestyles and the surgery does a really good job of that if used properly.

PS - I'm not trying to push this on you, if you aren't ready you shouldn't get the surgery, but if it is a simple "I should be able to do this on my own" mindset, my response is as stated above.

Josher_m,

I also had a surgery 2 decades ago, it is no longer needed due to innovations in surger techniques. My Mom had the almost identical surgery 6 months before, and had awesome weight loss. I have read all the comments... You must have your desire to get the weight off and do what it takes to maintain it.

Surgery gives you a tool...a limited capacity. You also should get some counseling about how you view food, and handling the stresses of life you may be covering with food. Bottom line if you do not work on WHY you over eat..you can eat your way, or as sparklekitty wrote, drink your way out of,... positive effects of surgery.

The easy part is after a while,with much practice, you can count your carbs and/or protein in your head, and know your allowed amounts without writing everything down. this is where i am , Ikeep up with carbs, and protein by the meal. limiting carbs to one serving for a meal..and a minimum of 1/3 protein(goal) for breakfast, min.of1/3 (protein goal) for late lunch and remainder for snack... so often I strive to get 40 grams protein in am, 25 for lunch and remainder around 6 or 7...so another 25 minimum. .this generally prevents my sugar crashes at 3 am. I am in reactive hypoglycemia after having it for close to 30 years.. Dr said control the sugar crashes or you get to take insulin shots for the remainder of life. It is easier to watch carbs than a needle coming at me.

What ever and how ever you decide to address the food issues and resulting weight...do not just ask questions and stop.

. Do your research! check out each surgry type and possibel benefits..and side effects...wanted and unwanted. the approval process is difficult in some states, so you need to get your doctor on board and have your diets documented and your compliance.. If you can't comply with a diet now before surgery...how will you after to monitor and control intakes... just my idea 23 years past my own major surgery.