What would you have asked?

Hi all,

I've been asked to be "A Patient Story" at a bariatric seminar thing my surgeon is hosting. I'm feeling equal parts SUPER EXCITEMENT and IMPOSTER at the moment. I'm glad it's a month away still!

When you were pre-op, if you could have picked the brain of someone post-op, what would you have asked?

If you're post-op now, what do you think you should have asked that you maybe didn't?

What experiences would you have wanted someone to share with you? What things do you wish you had known that you weren't comfortable asking?

People always ask me about loose skin and hair loss, so be sure to include those topics.

Also, people seem to think we don't eat "normally" ("I could never have WLS because I like to eat") I think my neighbor must think I have to drink protein shakes or something. I try to explain that I eat regular foods but I also have to explain that I can gain weight like normal people, too.

My friend asked her Doctor about weight loss surgery, and he told her that if she had it she would never be able to eat meat again. She was very shocked to see me living on so much meat. I cant understand how some doctors can be so ignorant, even if it's not their specialty.

My friend asked her Doctor about weight loss surgery, and he told her that if she had it she would never be able to eat meat again. She was very shocked to see me living on so much meat. I cant understand how some doctors can be so ignorant, even if it's not their specialty.

I have done them many times for my surgeon. I always give the basics. Weight loss etc.

I usually talk NSVs as well as some I never thought- hiking, running etc.

what comes out changes every time.

I did a few for my center and the questions seemed really silly to me...But it was abundantly clear that my surgeon's office did a great job educating people about a new post-ops diet, but said nothing about what it would be like to be a year or more out. They were all concerned about shakes, and no one was even thinking about real food. And if they did think about real food, they were only thinking about tiny portion sizes, not really thinking about changing what they eat. So I spent my time trying to move them out of the mindsets of months 1 - 3 and into years 1 and beyond.

Also, people cannot hear enough about vitamins!

I've done these at least half a dozen times and just agreed to speak twice again this fall. This is at the day-long educational seminars for pre-op patients.

FTR, this summer I'll be four years post-op, lost 100+ pounds and am still 100+ pounds lighter than I was when I started.

What I've been asked to talk about is my long-term experience with WLS, particularly maintenance, so those are the kinds of questions I get, e.g., "What's it like a year, two, three, four years out?"

One thing that seems to surprise every class is that I haven't regained any weight at all. Usually, pre-op patients comment that I'm the only WLS patient they've ever met who hasn't regained. :(

So I talk a lot about the need to learn how to navigate your life differently post-op than you did pre-op -- eating, exercise, putting your needs before those of everyone else in your life, the value of seeing a therapist to navigate life's ongoing ups and downs and stresses without self-medicating your anxiety and other uncomfortable feelings with food.

Seriously, that seems to be a huge issue for almost everyone. It seems that most people in the classes where I speak are struggling with lots of life stresses, which have contributed heavily (no pun intended) to their obesity. So I really harp on that. I may even get through to a few that they must change dramatically how they're living to have a fighting chance to conquer their lifelong weight issues.

That's mostly what my lecture is about.

And, of course, I answer all their questions about "What can I eat?" ;)

I've done these almost every month for the last two years. I have a bunch of things I want to tell them written on an index card because they don't always know the right questions to ask.

they'll always ask about loose skin and hair loss. Be prepared for that. Some ask if my friendships and close relationships have changed. Some ask if I've told people about my surgery and what the reactions were. They often ask what the recovery was like. They ask if I had any complications, and if I ever had any regrets. They'll sometimes ask if there are things I can't eat. Someone last week asked how I made it through the two-week liquid pre-op diet.

things I have written on my index card: rate of weight loss ("no, you probably will not drop 30 lbs the first month, and don't feel like a failure if you don't. I only lost 16 lbs the first month, and I've lost over 200 lbs"), the constipation battle, pain/recovery (I had almost no pain and a very quick recovery), what vomiting feels like post-op, Obesity Help (yes, I mention you guys!), the three-week stall, don't stock up on protein powder before surgery - get samples. Not everyone dumps (although most people these days are getting VSG), have someone take pictures of you right before surgery and then every month on your surgery date until you reach maintenance (I also show them a couple of my "before" pictures. At a starting weight of well over 300 lbs, the pics often elicit audible gasps). I also tell them they are likely to lose their hunger for anywhere from 3 or 4 months up to a year, and to milk that period for all it's worth. It will NEVER be easier for them to lose weight than those first few months, so take full advantage of it. After their hunger comes back, things will get a lot more challenging. I also tell them about exercise - "no, I am not a gym rat, but I do exercise 3 or 4 times a week". I also tell them that the first few weeks can be tough because your stomach is healing and some foods don't sit well for awhile, but once you get through the first few weeks, it becomes much easier.

I'll dig out my index card and see what else I have on it, but I think that pretty much covers it.

P.S. I also tell them that I still weigh myself almost every day and I still measure, weigh, and track my food - and probably will for the rest of my life.

The thing I would want to know most about are the keys to long-term success and preventing regain. I feel that so much of the info from my surgery center is short-sighted!