Roxane Gay and VSG

I neither try nor intend to be intimidating. If people see a post along the lines of "you are not following the rules and as a result you are unlikely to be successful" and think it aggressive, that's on the reader and not on me.

Hand-patting has yet to get a single WLS patient to their goal.

No, I haven?t read any of Ms. Gay's books but I plan to after reading this article. Thank you! Like you, i enjoyed the piece and I applaud the author for getting help. Nothing is wrong with that. I think the concern for me is the fear of failing. It?s something that?s crippling, and something I deal with too. Particularly because this isn?t my first time having WLS. Coming to this site is a great source of information and support from others that can relate. Those who have been there. I learn more and more about my tool and how to utilize it all by coming to this site. I believe Ms. Gay could benefit from the forums on this site just as I have.

I recommend her book Hunger. It really spoke to me. So much of what she wrote were things I had also felt.

Julie is one of the least mean people here.

There is no kindness in letting someone sabotage themselves.

^^^^^ yep.

It always cracks me up when someone calls Julie a big intimidating meanie. Anyone who has been around a bit knows that she is the exact opposite.

Attacking/labeling another member here based on a sum total of two posts probably isn't the most positive way to get help from those who've gone before. I sincerely doubt that it helps anyone in their real lives either for that matter.

I was super morbidly obese, with a BMI of 60, and 6'3" tall. I doubt she was that big. And I ate 800 calories for a years, until I hit goal.

I've seen thousands of people come through OH. This that lose slowly never get near their goal weight. Most start gaining very early on, after a year or so. I can count on one hand those that ate higher calories, lost slowly, and hit goal.

Grim, I understand and agree about the higher calorie issue. I was also smo with bmi of 67 with highest weight of 379. It took me two and half years to get to my goal of 150 lbs and have maintained that total loss to date, today at 148.5 lbs. What I am referencing is the comment of what appeared to me was those that lose slowly never get near goal....again, I completely agree with the higher calorie issue, however, now you can add someone else to the other hand that has managed to hit goal and maintain it,taking longer to figure it out. I realize I may be among a small handful of people this applies to and am not encouraging people to eat higher calories, simply pointing out some of us lose slower. I never considered losing weight a race and learned healthy eating habits along the way. I may have interpreted your reply differently than you meant it.

I apologize I didn't clarify I had rny 11-26-13 in my original reply.

This was possibly the saddest, most self loathing and self indulgent article I have ever read. I wish her all the luck in the world, but have little hope she will be successful long term given her attitude. This stuff is hard, and you have to want it more than anything. I don't see that in her writing. I see self pity and and more importantly, the external blame she is quick to place on others. I hope that therapy will allow her to look inward instead of outward. She deserves to be happy, but she also seems to wear her unhappiness like a badge of honor. Something has to change.

I stopped reading when I read she 'capitulated to surgery'.