Now that you've lost weight, how do you view other MO people?

Heya :) (OMG, I just realized I have a message to reply to you from forever ago... Sigh.)

The short version is - I have so many feelings and it's complicated.

The long version - Of course, I would never proselytize about WLS, but I know that you wouldn't either based on what you've written here. I think we all know that this is the Wrong Thing To Do. :)

I agree with what others have said that you never know where people are. I thought about this a lot when I was losing weight. I started at SMO, lost to MO, lost to Obese, and now I'm "just" overweight and on the brink of "normal." (Well, I might not be on the brink of normal at this instant because OMG Lance's mom keeps putting out Firkløver and Marzipan and it's killing me. But my clothes still fit, so yay.) When I got to obese after surgery I found myself thinking "people who don't know me are probably judging me for being so large, and they have no idea that I've lost 90 pounds and am still losing." I'm not sure that this thought bothered me, so much as it definitely made me realize that we just never know where someone is.

All of that said, when I'm in my natural state of being, I pass as a friendly person. I smile at strangers, I hold doors for people, I generally try to add kindness and positivity into the world. I ultimately strive to treat SMO/MO strangers the same way I treat all strangers. And then I second guess myself, because I worry that it'll come across as pity, or that they're trying to hide and go unnoticed as I sometimes did when I was SMO/MO.

So, yeah, it's complicated.

Thanks for asking this question. It's been bouncing around in my head the past few days!

Thank goodness you are non judgemental ...

Definitely with compassion. I know what my insecurities, aches, pains, worries, fears, etc. were and if they share even a fraction of them I feel for them.

I feel the same way about morbidly obese strangers that I did before - I feel empathy, sympathy, and just plain understand how they feel.

Things have changed when it comes to those close to me. It becomes a bit of the "wanting to save people" feeling that others here have described. Just last night, my neighbor was going on and on about how "I don't know why I'm gaining weight... I started drinking water! Maybe it's the HelloFresh meals... I should stop my subscription, yadda yadda yadda"

It's hard to sit and listen to someone you deeply care about talk this way - when you know the truth is they aren't being honest about the amount of calories they're taking in on a daily basis. She says, "I'm not doing anything different!" but the reality is... she has gained 20 lbs since I met her 2 years ago (and was already 20-25 lbs overweight) because she takes in too many calories and is inactive. But, she grossly underestimates how much she eats/drinks (alcohol) and grossly overestimates her activity levels.

But, I just can't convince her (through minor suggestions, when asked and by being a living example) that she should weigh/measure/track everything she eats and drinks. She will do it for 1-2 days and then quit. Sometimes I want to shake her and "wake her up" because of how unhappy she is with her weight. But, we all remember being at that point and I know for me, there is nothing someone could have said to make me see the light. I had to see it for myself.

Like others have noted I think...that used to be me. I feel sad for them because I remember needing the seat belt extender on an airplane, checking the seating at a venue before buying a ticket and so on...

I have a sister who is SMO(along with lots of other health problems and co-morbidities), she is going through the pre-surgery hoops for RNY. I really had to not be pushy with her. I waited until she asked me questions. Then I told her the truth as I see it...

It's challenging at first, but it's doable! Despite whatever small problems I've faced due to WLS, I don't regret it. Not a bit! It's a tool and I'm so thankful for this tool and I feel truly blessed!