My 25 Year Old Diet Journal - Still on that Merry-Go-Round

I recognized myself in most of the journal entries you posted and thought it was very brave of you to share. Even though I worked with a therapist(and still do) before my surgery I was still convinced that WLS was going to be my answer for all of my problems. Intellectually I knew it wasn't a "Magic Bullet" but emotionally I thought it would be. For me, the work came after my weight loss, I was still the same. I changed the outside, but am still working on the inside 2.3 years later.

I thought that my reply was encouraging, I apologize if you felt it was not...that was not my intention.

At first when you're new here some advice can come across a little harsher than you might be ready for. It was like that for me, and there were times my feelings were a little injured. But, I got over it and learned that they wanted me to succeed and they knew what wasn't going to work. Trust me TessieLoo, they can offer you some of the best advice you may get from anyone since they've lived this much longer than we have. They know :) and they're definitely rooting for you.

I think it's great that you've been working with a therapist, but I agree with what others have said. The clue was in your original post. Most were just commenting on how for those of us who have been fighting obesity FOREVER, the merry go round never stops. The ride is never ending. In fact, I'm now 4 years (almost to the day) out from my first surgery (VSG) and almost 2 years post revision to RNY (because of severe GERD) and you know what? It gets harder every.single.day. The merry go round spins faster and faster and faster and tries to throw me off plan and into a big serving of whatever it is I'm craving. The people who posted before me are just speaking the truth. They're not attacking you or trying to discourage you. In fact, I hope you embrace what they say, because many of the people *****sponded to your thread are amazingly supportive of me and what I've gone through. If you won't take what they've said in the spirit in which it was said, I hope new post ops, or pre ops reading this thread will.

Good luck!!!!!

Rocky wrote it perfectly above.

The only time I'll be off the merry-go-round is when they're planting me 6 feet under.

The difference between the merry-go-round before and after surgery is, with the surgery we have a chance to enjoy the ride without barfing up a chilidog and cotton candy after. Surgery gives us a chance, but its no guarantee.

In the words of the immoirrral Pete Seeger,

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

A time to gain, a time to lose

"The difference between the merry-go-round before and after surgery is, with the surgery we have a chance to enjoy the ride without barfing up a chilidog and cotton candy after. Surgery gives us a chance, but its no guarantee."

I wish I would have worded it this perfectly!

TessieLoo, I'm sorry you felt that some of the comments were negative. I think some of us were worried that you thought WLS would magically fix the future with no effort (some people do). It definitely changes the merry-go-round. We are all on it with you and we want to support you!

I love your post!

I have several start and stop journals where I say so many of the same things. My favorite promise to myself was that "This will be it. THIS time I will control myself". Re-reading those entries makes me feel sad for all the time I've lost.

My aha moment was when my therapist told me she thought I had binge eating disorder. I remember being excited that maybe my weight wasn't just due to my miserable lack of self-control. I continued to learn and work with her to change my thinking and make a plan.

My WLS eventually became part of my plan to beat BED and all the weight related health problems coming at me. I feel blessed and successful, but, since I'm only 1.5 years out from surgery, I fear regression and regain. I do not want this to be another of my failed diets, and I'm still working hard to maintain my new lifestyle.

Thank you for sharing these because reading your post helped me realize I'm struggling with trusting myself to actually keep on track (unlike my past). Keep looking inward and at your past habits and beliefs because the more you understand yourself the better you'll do. I wish you great success!

Thank you. I also have BED (though I call it compulsive overeating - same thing LOL)

I think the reason I'm so optimistic this time is because I will be physically unable to overeat compulsively, as long as I stick to the protein first, then veggies gospel.

I know that with this tool, I really CAN hit my goal weight and then start the serious and life-long work of keeping it off.

You have done really great! I really do think that therapy, before and after WLS, is just as an important and crucial tool in my arsenal as the actual surgery itself.

I like your screen name too. I'm also working through the fact that perfection isn't sustainable, but progress is.

hugs!

-Tess

At first, you are right, you won't be able to physically overeat compulsively. However, as your pouch matures, your consumption will definitely increase. Also, some foods mush up to almost nothing, and you can binge on those foods in about the same quantity as you can now. Like popcorn. I can eat an inordinate amount of popcorn if I am not careful.

I'm not trying to beat the dead horse, but again, your language indicates that you may have some unrealistic ideas of postop life, especially postop life in years 2+. Just something to be aware of. The obesity beast never goes away.

To tell you the truth I'd rather be on the merry go round than a roller coaster post op. The thrill of being on top & the world is yours, then the crash & low & feeling like crap. It gets to be exhausting sometimes. The merry go round can seem repetitive & boring but I feel a bit more in control on that. Less so on the roller coaster.

Hang in there

IRL I love rollercoasters