Reliving the past...

Meg,

I was molested when I was young, by family members. And I used food as a coping mechanism. It's just been within the past few years, that I have sought out therapy. As 3bassetts said, the surgeons can't fix our heads. Only you can know if you're ready, but it sounds to me like you are. Maybe you should also seek out a therapist that specializes in WLS patients? Just a suggestion. It isn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but as you stated, surgery won't be effective if I don't heal. What's that saying..."its not what you're eating, but it's what's eating you". I believe that now, more than ever.

No, I didn't lay it out there before surgery, because I was afraid that I would no longer qualify. So I kept it to myself. But it has always been with me. So I decided that I needed to get some help, if I was ever going to be successful. I don't know if sharing some of my story will help you, but I certainly hope that it does.

I certainly wish you all the best, and if I can help you in any way, please feel free to reach out to me.

I am so sorry you went through something so terrible, but thank you for sharing. Although my cir****tances are quite different I believe for a long time that I also ate as a coping mechanism (still do occasionally, but not like before). I will definitely keep in mind to look for a therapist that specializes in wls patients. I am not sure it would have occurred to me to connect the two!

Knowing I am not alone is a huge help. I am doing okay today, but thank you also for the offer to reach out. I might need to do that in the days ahead.

This week's My 600 Pound Life had a heartbreaking story of an obese woman and her childhood abuse. Please watch that episode. I don't have cable and download it from Amazon for $1.99.

One thing that the therapist had her do was write stories about herself where she was the heroine. If you are still in contact with the molester you might want to put them completely out of your life.

If they are dead, then you can tell yourself that they can never hurt you again.

Please get to a therapist immediately. Don't try to deal with this on your own for another minute.

There are people who are trained to help you.

You can overcome this.

Just to clarify, because there is a really big difference both in the cir****tance and the emotional toll each form of abuse takes on the victims. I was not molested. I experienced physical violence from my father growing up.

Thank you. I have never seen "my 600lb life" I don'****ch much tv, is it worth checking out or is it just a few good episodes here and there? When I have heard it mentioned before it sounded like another reality show (but then the folks chatting about it don't have much experience with being overweight).

I have watched every episode since it started. I think Dr. Now is in the category of Mother Teresa for obese people. I hate reality TV, but love this show.

My 600 lb life is a really good show, although I sometimes find myself yelling at the TV. I did take note of the fact that almost every patient has been abused in some way, whether sexual, physical, or emotional. The doc recognizes when a patient needs therapy to help with their weight loss, and I am so impressed that he treats the entire patient. You may like it. It comes on Wednesday night's at 8, on TLC.

Meg, I have been thinking of you all day, and I am so glad that you feel that it's time to share the details of your abuse with your hubby. I know that it took a lot for you to come to that decision, and I'm so proud of you.

I found a wonderful book on Amazon entitled 'The Weight Loss Surgery Coping Companion', that has a lot of really helpful exercises. All of us have been through so much on this weight loss journey, so I look for anything that may help. Which is why I shared a snippet of my story with you. And if I can help one person, then it's worth it.

Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers, and if you need me, I'm just a phone call away.

I don't care for the 600 pound show.

But I concur with others who encourage WLS patients to consider or seek therapy, regardless of our family and personal histories.

I've been seeing a therapist for over 4 years (was sleeved 3 years, 7 months ago). I don't think I'd have been nearly as able to change my lifestyle and maintain it thus far without those therapy resources.

Very best wishes to all of you just starting out. This is a great time of life, no matter your age, to deal with the issues you've been unable to resolve or even address up to now.

I will only say that I strongly urge you to find a therapist. I was in counseling before I decided on WLS and once I made the decision to have WLS, we simply incorporated that aspect of my life into our sessions.

The reason I was in counseling doesn't matter, but it changed my life.

Please see a therapist; it's so much better to talk to a complete stranger about your deep personal problems than to even a close friend or family member. The stranger will (cannot) ever discuss your problems with others; friends or family members can (and will) gossip. Best to keep your thoughts with a trusted professional. That worked well for me in a situation such as yours.