Two Years

Life has so many ups and downs. I just got back from Florida my father in-law passed away Sunday. I flew down there to be with my husband and his family.

Life has change a lot in the past two years.

I stopped drinking on March 21,2016. I am sober to this day . I never thought I could make it that long without a drink.

Stopping drinking was the best thing I did for me. I drank to hide the pain I was feeling.

When I had surgery I thought it would fix me. Well it fixed my stomach but not my head. It took me about three months before I started again. I was still on the surgery rush. Then of course it started to get more frequent. Blackout drunk. Didn't want to feel. I hated feeling. I drowned my soul in booze.

I really was vane. Still am. I now try to make things for me not everyone else. Like not doing stuff to always happy. To do things that make me happy. Do I like the way I look. Not always. But I am learning to love myself which is one thing that can be very hard after abusing myself for so long.

I am a nanny now and take care of two children. One is a 18 months old and I love her and she loves me. I get to hold her and falls asleep in my arms. Best feeling ever. Her brother gets off the bus he is in pre-school I have him for a few hours.

I was around everyone drinking the past few days. It wasn't hard. It just was a bit overwhelming dealing with drunk people. I did give myself time outs and went for walks and sat by the pool.

Life is not always easy. There has been major tragedies that I have gotten through with the help of my friends in AA and here on this site have helped me.

Supporting each other is why we are here. Life can be really scary sometimes. Not knowing what is going to happen.

I just know when I look in the mirror. I know what I did the night before. I can see a woman of dignity and strength.

Beautiful post thank you. Congratulations on your success. You must be proud.

I could see that drinking could have become a problem for me post WLS if I was to continue and made the decision to cut out wine completely. I was not drinking daily but when we went out suddenly one glass was becoming 2. It hit me hard. The next day I would feel awful. i rarely drank before WLS.

Sorry for your loss.

I will be honest. I was an alcoholic for a long time.

Booze and food I thought comforted me.

Now dealing with feelings is scary and sometimes sucks really bad.

But the life I was leading before I was heading for death.

My liver enzymes were so high that I had to go for testing they thought I had hep C.

So on St.Patricks Day I told everyone I was going to get sober. They all laughed.

Well I am not laughing but it does feel good in the morning not having to check my phone to see who I drunk text the night before.

Or just having my kids want to be around them. I used to blame my daughter being a ***** I was just the asshole.

I am sure your family is very proud of you. It is not easy but you are doing well.

Have a great weekend!

Megan

First, congratulations on your 2 year sobriety!

And I thank you for this upbuilding, encouraging post. That's the reason why I'm on this site. To give and receive support. So I appreciate you sharing your story, and reminding us that we need to help each other.

Annette

Thank you.

I wasn't going to post today about it. I needed to share. It helps me.

My condolences on the loss of your father in law. Glad you could be totally present for your husband and family, even though this stuff really sucks.

Today, and EVERY day, you continue to inspire me. It takes GREAT bravery, to come here, and bare your soul - your TRUE soul. I appreciate you, so very, very much. I have learned SO very much, from you

Many, many (((HUGS))), regarding the loss of your FIL. Loss is always hard, whether it is "expected", or not. Hug your husband, and kids, for me

Helping raise Short Peeps is the hardest job I have ever had (and remember-I was a nurse for nearly 40 years!), but I have never been happier, as I know YOU are

THANK YOU, for sharing your life, with us

Thank you. Being sober has not made me want to die.

Actually I want to live and do so many things.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am genuinely inspired by your story and your strength. Thank you for sharing with us. Being a nanny was one of the best jobs I ever had, enjoy it!