Am I giving up too soon?

For me this is all Red Flag stuff. It sounds like what I might have written during my LapBand experience 12 years ago. And by that I mean, restricting what I ate, but finding low fat/low carb substitutes for food triggers, grazing and snacking etc, not having a plan per say, just winging it cause it was working, until well, it didn't anymore.

I learned the hard way that I had to do things differently the second time around. I am very, almost obsessively, black and white about foods I will and will not eat post WLS. Because I live internationally, now in Japan but before in Europe, I know I cannot depend on special foods, powders, replacements, substitutes etc. to eat. That's not to say they are bad, or that I am not jealous you all have them at your finger tips, I just also know that building up menus around certain brands, types of food, protein bars etc was not something I could do for life. And the entire WLS experience is for life. It doesn't end when we hit a magic number. I needed to find routine meals that worked for me ( I am extremely sensitive to sugar alcohols, substitutes and have RH), that I could find anywhere in the world and live and eat well.

I also do not track my food etc. on MFP or anything like that. I never have. I don't respond well to Food Police or being scolded by anyone (even myself) for what I choose to eat so that isn't something that works for me at all. And living abroad, my food choices are different from yours and all I would be doing is making up numbers to fit the ideal. This is why you don't see me posting on menu threads or really talking about food in general. I also don't exercise in any formal way. I get plenty of walking and stair climbing in Tokyo, but nothing else. So While that isn't the norm on these boards, I am here to say it is possible to get below goal and stay there for 4+ years without using those tools. Time will tell if that works for me...

Here is what has worked for me so far:

*Drink Drink Drink. I drink 4L of water, coffee a day minimum, spread out throughout the day and evening. I haven't had a soda since before my revision and won't go back to that. I don't drink with meals. I wait 30 min before drinking again, but I do drink right up until I eat. I do occasionally drink wine (since year 3 postop) but it isn't a regular part of my life.

*Vitamins, iron, calcium every single day and stay on top of Lab work -14 vials of blood kind of blood work.

*No simple carbs, ever. No Rice (yes I live in Japan and eat zero grains of rice), no pasta, no bread, no sugar, no potatoes, nothing white basically. Ever. My RH happens when I don't eat enough protein to balance out beans or lentils or I unknowing eat something with added sugar (like a sauce) then I am off the chain sick. And the one Quest Bar I ate almost sent me to hospital, so I have one brand of Protein bars that I use when I travel on the plane, but otherwise I try to stay away from faux candy bars in general.

*Always have food for myself on hand: 10 almonds in a small ziplock in every bag or purse, glove box etc., ziplock bags in the freezer filled with muffin tin sized portions of chilli, lentil dhal, curry chicken, taco meat, ricotta bake, etc. so that I am rarely caught without having something just right for me. My family can wing it - but I can't and won't.

*Full fat is best. Yogurt, cheese, nuts, avocados, etc. All good stuff.

*Protein first. Veggies one bite or two. No fruit (one or two grapes but anything else makes me sick as a dog).

*I eat 4-6 equal size meals throughout the day. I don't experience hunger since RNY at all so I need to eat on a schedule which helps me keep my blood sugar steady and my energy level up. I have even had to eat 8x a day to maintain and try to put on weight. This works better for me but may not be a good thing for others.

*Weigh daily and respect what the scale says. No denial. I try to stay in a 6 pound (3kilo) window. I can't have a massive regain or loss this way since I am right there watching it happen. No way to say it just crept up on me. I have to pay attention and deal when I need to. It is a million times easier to lose or gain 3 kilos than 30, no doubt.

Jeez - sorry for the marathon reply :) I rarely post on the main boards and when I do it's a mini novel!

Thank you!

That's how you do it

You are a marvelous success story.

On a separate note, I have been eating natto multiple times per week and love it so much. You must have so much access to good natto!

I had to Google Natto, never heard of it until now. How do you eat it? What does it taste like?

It's delicious. Mild, slightly nutty, slightly beany. I like to mix it with furikake and a little soy sauce. Sometimes I'll also add kale sauteed in balsamic vinegar to the natto + furikake mix. So tasty.

Nope - Natto is more regional and in Tokyo it isn't easy to find ready made. It is served inside buns but I wouldn't eat that anyway so I have no idea if it's good that way. One of my sons is allergic to soy (yes, really) so we try to keep a soy free house which is an adventure all by itself!

But Natto is famously known throughout the Expat community as a love it or hate it kind of dish.

I find, that my mental "ideal" is not where my body sits comfortably. I always set my goal weight for 140, which would take me to a normal BMI. I am finding at 2.5 years post op, I am sitting at about 160. I am wearing a size 6 and feeling very healthy and fit. Sometimes my head tells me I'm not "at goal", but then I look in the mirror and see myself and remember that just because a BMI calculator tells me I should be somewhere, doesn't mean it actually knows where I should be. If your body is comfortable in the 120s, then I wouldn't beat myself up.

I find that beating myself up only makes things worse for me. But that is my personality. Good luck, and I hope that you can find peace in where you are. Anywhere in the 120s should NEVER give you anxiety.

I cant be of any help , but will tell you my struggle. My biggest struggle that really messes with my mind at times is that I am not at "Normal" BMI. I am 5'11" and muscular ( Now) and the high end of the weight range for this height is 178. I did hit 178. I did not look or feel great at 178. I looked odd, very frail and skinny and my head looked odd on my little body. I was skinny. I then decided that I would settle in at 185-190. I am currently at 197.

I wear the same clothes now that I did at 178. I could actually drop to a 32 waist pant if I wanted too.

I recently moved my belt to the original hole that I was at at 178.

My Arms/chest/biceps, inner thighs and calves are all increased in size since January 1. My waist has shurnk since January1.

While I am happy, I am at times haunted that I am not considered normal BMI.

One point I will add is that I wish I was on OH when i was struggling for the direction as to when to go into Maintenance, I think I would have dropped lower than 178 knowing that I would probably settle in about 10 pounds heavier.

I am 5 foot 7 and at 140 I looked like a stick... everyone thought I looked too thin. I feel I looked thinner then 140! Everyone carries their weight differently. Also depends on age I think. The highest BMI for 5 foot 7 is 158... I would be happy to be 150 to 155 again... those last 15 lbs (regain) at this point are a *****! (Almost 10 years out) I agree with you the mental stigma not being with a normal BMI plagues me!

I like men to be a bit over their BMI to me more manly! I like some thick strong arms! More rugged! Lol! Pure physical reason not health which of course most important. I personally don't think 10-15 over your BMI is too much of a health deterrent if your BP, cholesterol etc all good.

Maintaining is the biggest and hardest issue as the years go on.