Ever feel like giving up on trying to have surgery?

sorry for your troubles. I had to really fight to get my WLS including appealing ins company denial, all kinds of schedule issues, a low potassium problem, travel for surgery and on and on. But it did make me more determined and more motivated to be successful and it worked out well. Read my blog for my story. 8 years out now. Diane S

I am so sorry you are feeling defeated. For a very long time I considered WLS as the cheaters way out. When my orthopedist said I needed a knee replacement but said that at a BMI of 44+ he would not do it, and my PCP suggested that at my age (57) I could no longer exercise enough to lose enough weight to qualify, I finally reconsidered. I used to have a high end job at Paramount Pictures in Hollywood. They would never have covered WLS. I traded down to a job that did not provide insurance (substitute teacher and school bus driver). That qualified me for state-run health insurance, which does cover things like WLS.

I agree with Gwen that our insurance system here in the US is broken. And it is getting worse under the current crazy leaders. But I have paid in to my government for 45 years and I expect some return on my investment. Have I worked the system? Yes. Can I sleep at night? Yes. I am not very wealthy and I have no money in the bank and I do not own a house. I do not have an IRA. I have nohing to leave my daughter. But I am healthy for the first time in 45 years.

I encourage you to look outside the box for a solution. In my case I just could not lose weight on my own. Do not use that as your excuse... as HALa said keep trying. Use the menu threads to get ideas, try to cut down on your portion sizes, use some of the tricks we use (not drinking after meals, eat portion sizes and then stop, drink a lot of water, exercise). But look for another way.

*edited because I am just a terrible speller

First of all I just want to apologize for coming off as whining in my post. After re-reading my post I realized just how much I was complaining. I don't mean to come off that way. I know that so many people have it much worse than me. It just gets overwhelming sometimes and venting helps.

Thank you all for your advice and words of encouragement. I truly appreciate it!

As for my coworkers who had the surgery....one got approved through her husbands insurance and the other girl is new and just started employment with us. I'm not sure of how she got approved for her surgery. I just know that she had the sleeve done. I figure she either got it done with insurance through a previous job or maybe through her parents insurance since she is very young...just turned 24 yesterday and recently out of college.

I have actually given going to Mexico a lot of thought. I am not opposed to it at all. It's just very difficult for me financially right now which is yet another her reason I'm looking for other jobs. I'm pretty much living paycheck to paycheck so Mexico isn't an option right now.

I have not not tried to appeal. I figure what's the point? I have Blue Cross and Blue Shield of South Carolina insurance and they told me they don't cover any sort of weight loss surgery whatsoever. I'd love to talk more about it to the weight loss surgeon I had a consult with, but every appointment is out of pocket. I did apply for the grant, but the doctor I saw said they can only refer two patients per year to be considered for the grant. I didn't hear anything so I assume I wasn't one of the ones who got referred. The chances were pretty slim anyway.

As for getting married for health benefits. The thought has surprisingly crossed my mind. There is just no one I can think of who would agree to something like that. There was one friend whom I dated for several months who actually did have insurance which covered the surgery. However, he is against the surgery and wholeheartedly believes I should lose the weight the old fashioned way. He believes there are too many risks with the surgery and has no problem letting me know this every chance he gets. He's also not the marriage type....been there done that. I've since distanced myself from him because the relationship became too toxic. I can't believe I'm even talking about this. Regardless if there was or wasn't someone in my life who would go through with this type of arrangement with me, I could never do such a thing no matter how desperate I am. I'd feel like I was just using them. It's not who I am and goes against all I believe in.

I have fallen off my exercise/diet routine. It's become too painful to exercise and as soon as I get discouraged from not seeing results I fall right back into my old habits. The most weight I've ever lost in my life was only 50 pounds and I don't know where I even got the willpower to do that. I was in my twenties then though and didn't suffer from all the health issues I do today. Going to the gym daily after work and then coming home to walk on the treadmill for 30-60 minutes was nothing to me. I was doing so good back then and people were noticing a difference and commenting on how good I looked and then I lost my job. It all went to hell from there. I could no longer afford the gym, fell into a deep depression, got diagnosed with MS after going completely blind in one eye and gained all my weight back I worked so hard to lose plus a whole lot more.

I know the surgery isn't a quick fix or an easy out. I know it takes hard work, effort and lots of willpower. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared I'd fail after I had the surgery. It very well may not be a success for me. But I feel like I have to at least give it a shot. A chance to try. I'm more afraid of the outcome if I don't get the surgery. Sometimes it just seems like an uphill battle I'll never overcome.

I don't think you came off as whining. I think you came across as feeling hopeless and lost.

It's been mentioned in previous posts to you, but did you ever start working with a therapist? With the way you're feeling, I truly believe that working with a therapist will be extremely beneficial to you - maybe even more so than weight loss surgery would be right now.

You've no reason to apologize. If you needed heart surgery or your gallbladder out and insurance just didn't cover it -- no one would think you were wrong to feel hopeless.

It's terribly sad to live in a country where lifesaving surgeries are held from deserving people over money.

I sincerely hope that you find a solution. You have every right to feel discouraged, but I trust that you will find an answer.

Really can relate ....but these feelings are not a forever sentence, Babe.

Get the surgery ... get the hope ... get a new life . Everyone here did it ... and we unanimously say ... we wish we only had the surgery sooner .

(((HUGE HUG))))

"feelings aren't a forever sentence"

This may be the best sentence you've ever posted, Ava.

Not sure if your company is self insured, but that might be something worth exploring. Many larger companies are self insured, meaning that your "insurance carrier" is simply managing the insurance but the company itself pays for coverage. When I was trying to get approved I was initially denied (I had the DS and 16 years ago it was considered experimental). After discussing things with my HR manager, that's when I learned that my company (at that time) was self insured and we could appeal their denial. HR helped me enormously and ultimately insurance did cover my surgery (they even paid the follow up plastics). If you haven't already done so, you might want to contact your HR department (and remember that any conversation you have with them is (or should be) confidential.

I hope you find a solution.

Hmmm...if BC/BS won't cover the surgery and you have MS, do you qualify for medical assistance in your state due to the MS?? If so, they would probably cover the surgery. If they don't, you might save enough money with copays/cost of medication to sock it away to have the surgery done in Mexico? Just a thought..