Ever feel like giving up on trying to have surgery?

Definitely wild - and definitely not the best option for everyone :) I've never regretted it for a moment, though.

I have a handful of friends I could ask, but, like I said another comment, this is actually something that's come up in conversation in my friend circle since we're weird like that.

Worth mentioning if she had a solid friend she could ask. A suggestion she probably would not have thought of but worked for you. You never know!

Healthcare costs have gotten insane these days.

I am not anything close to conservative, so that is definitely not the cause of my distaste and objection.

It worked for Gwen with a good friend she was just suggesting what worked for her. While not for everyone it worked for her and so she was throwing out the idea. I am open minded and not set to my way only. What works for one person may not work for another. I respect that.

This sounds like insurance fraud to me, even if it's within the letter of the law.

I think this is TERRIBLE advice.

Hm, I'm not sure why it would be insurance fraud? People get legally married for all sorts of reasons and it's not like you ever have to justify to your company, or the insurance company, that you got married for the "right" reasons - whatever those are.

Maybe "fraud" isn't the correct legal term. But I'm thinking this sounds very similar to someone having a sham marriage just to get a green card, which is generally frowned upon.

Heh. I'm thinking of that movie, Green Card, now. I might side-eye a person who married someone they didn't know at all, but that's not what I suggested. I can't see legally marrying someone who cares about you enough to marry you so that you can get health care as being a sham.

I agree, Julie. It's unethical for sure.

You can actually go on someone's insurance if you're in a committed relationship. You don't need to be married, so theoretically you could do this if you lived in the same place long enough, right? I mean, no one is taking pictures to make sure you have an intimate relationship with the person.

I do also see marriage as a legal contract, but personally, the idea of marrying someone for insurance is terrifying. But, I live in NY and you pretty much have to commit your life savings and a body part from each of your children to get divorced. I wouldn't even get married to Jon when we found out we were having Isis, even though I didn't have insurance and I loved him dearly. But, I wasn't ready to legally tie myself to him (yet). Then you have to throw in the whole 'meeting someone and them understanding' aspect of the puzzle. Societal norm (right, wrong, or indifferent) doesn't support finding someone whose response would be 'oh cool, what you did makes sense'.

In addition, I feel like just the work to make sure you protected yourself legally (with a prenuptial agreement, etc) would cost you roughly the same as a surgery in Mexico would. I actually don't feel like I have friends that I could trust so fully that I would consider it, except my BFF, maybe?

Boy, accessible healthcare would be nice, eh? I appreciate the academic discussion of the option either way