Responses when I tell people

I've been selective and get mostly positive feedback. I am trying not to sabotage myself by having the wrong people know, such as inlaws and relatives who will be negative to start and throughout my journey. One of the worst things I can do to myself is not lose weight fast enough for the people who are naysayers and don't really want you to succeed. Being heavy my entire life has taught me that it embarasses people who share the same fight but don't have the same ideas to help themselves. If I could just diet and exercise and fat be gone, I would have stuck to that plan, but I needed more assistance.

Don't listen to the horror stories. Turn a deaf ear ear to negativity and since I know everyone that fits in to one of those categories, I'd rather be on here than out there, lol..

When I was first thinking about surgery and hadn't made mind to do it, I received more negative comments.

But my parents were very supportive and my biggest advocates. They few people I've told since surgery have been very supportive (to my face at least). But I did encounter a problem where I discovered several of the people I had told were telling other people. I'm still in college so I know word spreads like a wildfire. I was very upset and addressed this person and her response was "well don't you think everyone suspects it already??"

grrrr...probably! But that's not the point. The point was I told you something in confidence. And you blabbed!

I am pretty much an open book... and I think I numb their minds, when they ask, and I tell them... not only that I had WLS, but how it works, and how I have to work, and the metabolic changes, and the huge decrease of those that had diabetes now being in remission, and the mindset, and how hard your brain works against you...

And they glaze over and leave me alone.

The biggest percentage of those that I have told are very supportive, especially after my dialog of the above

I have never been in the habit of broadcasting any of my personal medical history so I didn't broadcast this part either, but that's just me.

In addition to these, I've also gotten a number of "TELL ME EVERYTHING" followed with, "Yeah.... I'm not ready to do that."

It's funny, through this process I am finding out who I trust and who I don't and asking myself some follow up questions, lol!

Unfortunately, the responses never change...

I'm very proud of my surgery, I'm also very proud that I really havent had any regain and have kept everything under control.

I still have a lot of people tell me about how someone they know has gained back all their weight, I generally reply that its more than likely because the other person made poor decisions about what to eat post op. That a calorie is still a calorie for bariatric patients. Its my job to control what I eat and how I burn calories. Its my new stomachs job to simply limit how much and often.

I, too, know several people who have gained significant weight back and havent gotten it off again several years down the road being post op.

My hopes are that when these people talk to me and see I've lost and maintained, they will bring that back to their other friend that is struggling and hopefully give them some hope they can lose the weight again and keep it off.

I've had several people ask to share my story with their friends/colleagues/family members/ etc, and have had a few times people ask me to speak to someone about my story.

Dont ever be afraid to share your story, but also dont feel obligated if you dont want to :)

Also, if theres a particular resposne you get from someone that you find is hurtful when people say it, figure out a set response back. Dont be rude or intentional with hurting feelings, but I sure as hell dont hold back if it happens in mine. Their statement of "oh, you'll end up gaining it all back" is downright mean and intentional or not, it hurts and is inappropriate. They deserve some truth after that ;)

Chris

Well here is a thought: I bet more people die from consequences of obesity than die from complications of WLS. So there. Diane S

What I learned during my first wls was, those that mind don' matter, and those that matter won't mind. They will be supportive but nervous as they would about any surgery u would have.