Feeding your kids

Have you changed how you feed your kids since surgery?

My 2 year old is not a picky eater at all and has always eaten what his father and I eat (no mushies or kid foods). But I worry about his eating habits. He always wants to eat and often asks for snacks, even when I know he is not hungry.

He asks to eat when he's emotionally upset or done with playing or doesn't want to nap, or sees anyone else eat etc. I end up feeding him a meal or a snack every 2hrs ( eating 5-6 times per day) and saying no to more snacks in between. I don't want to make food an issue for him by limiting his access, but I also want him to develop non-food related coping habits. Breastfeeding has made it really clear how natural it is to find emotional safety in food, but I think in our obesogenic society that natural tendency needs to be muted as much as possible.

I'm not worried about what he eats, just how often and the reasons behind his eating. Parents of OH, what do you think?

My kids are grown adults so I really can't help you very much.

I am a nanny and I try to always encourage fruit before cookies.

The little boy who comes home from school sometimes is starving. I will make him an actual lunch since I don't want him to fill up on junk. He is in the special needs pre-school program and I know they have their hands full with the kids. And he knows when he is actually hungry. He will ask for water on a regular basis.

I ran this by his parents before I decided to do this. I am not the food police.

I wish I had more answers.

Mine are older as well. 19 and 15. My 15 year old is very health wary and watches EVERYTHING he eats b/c he used to be skin and bones and started gaining weight when he was in 6th grade. He is the healthiest eater I know, hes 6ft tall and weighs about 195 pounds. My 19 year old eats all the junk in the world and eats extremely small amounts several times a day. Shes 5 ft 7 and weighs about 120 pounds.

Do you think you did anything especially right in their toddler years to help then be so healthy as teens?

I have a 2yo who was born after I had surgery. He's on a rigid meal schedule at daycare, but we let him graze at home on the weekends. He eats a lot of toddler food (peanut butter sandwiches, chicken nuggets, etc.) and keep it as healthy as we can.

Our pediatrician said that was fine, since he's doing a lot of growing right now; he's at 50% on the growth chart for height/weight ratio, so everything is good. If that changes, we'll adjust, but for now he seems to do OK.

Mine is in the 50%tile for weight but is only in the 10%tile for height, so his pediatrician told me to "watch his portion sizes". I think he's gone through a vertical growth spurt since his last pedi visit though and he looks super healthy to me (not biased at all). I'm more concerned about how he wants to eat instead of feeling hard feelings, but I'll probably give him food issues if I restrict his food or make a big deal out of not eating. Sheesh, parenting.

Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?

I think my big thing is that I'm trying to not attach emotional value to food. It's really hard not to say, "good job little guy, you ate all of your dinner!" when dealing with a picky-ish eater. I try to steer him towards healthy snacks and keep the fruit juice at a minimum. But otherwise, I'm going to stick with my general philosophy of "only worry if the doctor says to worry."

Can you suggest maybe snuggling with his favorite toy or watching his favorite show instead of eating when the hard feelings happen? would that work for him?

Mine are older too... 16 & 18. Both are in healthy realms of height/weight, but my 18yo is very selective on what she puts in her mouth. My 16yo is a junk food junky and he loves his carbs.

Seems that when they were young, they were always eating... I think it's a natural thing when they're only 2 to have a lot of snacks/food.

I guess what you have to offer him is probably the best thing you can do. And of course, if you are convinced he doesn't need food... maybe he needs more water?

I know if I don't get my water in, my mind/belly/system thinks it's hungry. If i keep the water flowing, then I'm not as inclined to want actual food.

On one hand, I think 'us', WLS patients are so much more in tuned with food and emotions... but when I look at the people around me... they mostly all eat, or want to eat, during happy times, sad times, stressful times, etc. I think it's just the way we are wired, TBH. On the other hand, I want to change the world and make it not so! But I'm not sure that's possible.

When I had my surgery 12 years ago and started cooking family meals again, they ate what I ate. We already ate balanced 3 course meals, but I replaced the starch with a second vegetable, making every dinner lower carb. My son's wrestling coach was delighted when he learned about it. My son and husband could indulge in starches when we went out to eat, and they were fine with that.

As a mom of a tot- you are in total control over what they eat, so take advantage of that! Have healthy snacks that you prepared yourself and don't fall for the sugar and carb filled pre-packaged toddler foods. Cook from scratch (it's not hard, I promise) so you always know what's in your food.