Hurtful comments after losing weight

Look no doubt it's a hard pill to swallow! I wouldn't be surprised if this has happened to 100% of us. But try to keep it in perspective these same people have seen you for ever one way and the dramaic way we loose the weight is hard to anyone not to appear gaunt sickly or whatever. Heck it probably took me 3 years or longer before I recognized my new self. I tried to tell well meaning family and friends it's not up to me the nature of the beast is it' virtually out of our control. Your body will drop and dip below your targeted weight and then bounce back to what your body feels is your ideal weight. I will say it's been my experience that the successful woman seem to look 10 or more years younger, while the men seem to age 10 or more years. Where without surgery men seem to age nicely and women not as well. Im' basing it only on my own observation I am a man.

Of course you do have haters out there for whatever reason they try to sabatoge your journey. I actually had one lady I worked with tell me I looked more like a man when I was heavy, that she thought she would have made a move on me before I lost the weight?? Just stupid! Especially since she knew I've been happily married probably then 30 years and I just looked at her like what an idiot!! I did tell her she couldn' hold a candle to what I had at home.

WLS people are like pregnant women in the regards that people feel for some reason to take liberties like pat your belly or say things that uninvited???

You can loose weight but it' hard to fix STUPID!!!!!

Bob, I agree with everything about your post.

And yes, some people are just stupid. And some people have no filters at all -- when their brain farts, they really stink up the joint.

Good man.... I have one like you too! Love the comment you told her about your lady!

I don't owe anyone an explanation. I just smile

One person who knew about my surgery (I didn't tell many people) told me I was too skinny and I should stop losing weight. My reply " at this point it's out of my hands. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to". She then realized her comment wasn't the brightest.

"Oh, I never talk about health issues. I find it so boring, don't you?"

That'll stop most people; the others you can just give the stink eye :)

CitS

I think that we are all pretty sensitive with our body image when we are losing weight so quickly and we don't even recognize ourselves in the mirror! But basically, I would say just ignore....you can smile or pretend you didn't hear them or come up with some zinger like "really, what makes you feel like you can make comments about my body??? or health???

People just get nervous with any kind of change...and I always say we see through our own lenses. Once after a group of women were teasing me for being too skinny (this is a shock when you have been overweight most of your life) I realized that I had teased skinny people before too. I went and apologized to one of my friends and we talked about how we all have different body image issues. I had people I didn't even know ask me about my diet because they felt too fat. It is about them and their weight issues and their body image issues, it really is not about you. Sometimes it is a shock for family members especially if they don't see you very often. I was surprised that my grandchildren didn't appear to notice at all! My sisters who only saw me monthly could hardly recognize me (I lost a 100 pounds in less than 6 months) asked me once what my daughter thought, did she still see me 'as her mom'. My daughter saw me probably on a weekly basis and for her she said, yep I was still her mom.
Overall, I would just say, that if someone says something hurtful, it is about them and just go on with your life....

Best of luck to all the newbies and oldies out there!

Thanks for this post! :) I'm new on my own journey, just 7 weeks into beginning my weight loss (or rather, Thursday will make 7 weeks). I'm years away from surgery (Canadian!), so I'm doing it the long, slow way for now, on a 1200 calorie diet (no sugar, low carb, high protein) and so far I've lost 25lbs. I've literally never lost weight before, and it's exciting. I started at 335lbs, however, so I know I still have a long, long, long way to go. I'm down to 310lbs now and someone literally told me yesterday that I'm "wasting away". I was so flabbergasted that I hardly knew what to say, other than a VERY dry, "I assure you: I'm not". Maybe people think it's a compliment, but man, some (most!!) people just need to learn to mind their own business and zip it!

In the words of a very old song(Garden Party by Ricky Nelson):"You can't please everybody. You can only please yourself." You did this journey to make yourself healthy. Your final weight is between you and your doctor. Nobody else.