Hurtful comments after losing weight

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Congratulations! You did great.

Red180

2 There is never one answer for all cases. It just takes time for you to except the new you! Believe it or not it will probably take you longer to except the new you than your family and friends .

Also jealous people.... I remember at my dentist... the assistant who helps my dentist when you get a cavity etc (not hygienist but her personal assistant) told me at about 4 or 5 years out ... I can't wait until you come back here (and she puffed out her cheeks! ) ... I was at goal .... nasty!

after putting on 20 then 40 regain around years 7 and 8 I noticed she always eyes me! She is bigger but not big enough for surgery and was jealous I think. never forgot it and not my favorite person! Will be good to go back at goal again! Not that I need to prove anything to her!

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I would bet that every single one of us gets those "Stop losing, you are wasting away!" comments. We are never actually too thin when they start. I think I was 275 pounds still.

I think you handled it just great.

A support group friend of mine, from years past, had a great line, that has stuck with me:

"If I was a stranger, and you just met me TODAY, would you think I was too skinny?"

Oh, Jeez Louise, all the helpful Hannahs in the world.

And most of them -- at least in my nearly 18 years of experience -- were the same sweethearts who said sweetly passive-aggressive things about your pre-surgery appearance that cut so deep they could have used a knife.

What I had to remember about the people whose opinion mattered to me (and I could pretty much count them on one hand) in the days, weeks, months and years since my surgery was that they were adjusting to a new me the same as I was. I became a lot less angry and a lot more outgoing over time, and I found my voice that said "No" -- a word that rarely, if ever, passed my lips pre-surgery, because I was so damned grateful that you seemed to tolerate me.

And everybody's right -- you do lose fat in weird places. Suddenly you have cheekbones and collarbones and knuckles, for the love of God. It seems to work itself out in the end, but for a while there you can look a little ill.

As I said, I'm almost 18 years out, and nobody on the face of the earth would say I'm a thin person. I'm a normal-looking person. I actually like my body now, for the first time almost as long as I can remember. I'm not a raving lunatic emotionally. I have a job I like. My husband and I get along better now than we have in going-on 39 years of marriage. It's a good thing.

Listen to your doctor and nutritionist. If they say you're doing well, you're doing well. And if you feel you're doing well, you are.

Just say, "Thanks, but actually my doctor and I will decide what is healthiest for me."

I mean, everyone treats weight loss like it is a fashion statement, but you went through a surgical procedure. This is a medical decision!

IMO, people should be reminded that your medical stats are not theirs to comment on. It actually really ****** me off.

It ****** me off too!!!

That is a great point, I remind folks to this day that the 1 reason I did this was for my health!!!!! NO MORE MEDS!!!!!!

I will be honest here, I wish I was on OH when I was winding down my honeymoon period. I caved to the folks that said I was too skinny. I wish I would have dropped 10 more pounds , I would have settled in around 185 instead of the 195+ range I am in now.