Hurtful comments after losing weight

I've seen this posted before, but I think it's important to bring it up for those that are new and starting their weight loss journey. Recently I've had some hurtful comments from family who "mean well." When you lose weight, especially a lot of weight it's not surprising that your family and friends will be worried. Mine have been mostly supportive, but lately they have been telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight, that I look like a skeleton and they can see my bones. I am over 200 pounds still, I'm sure I do not look anything like a skeleton and I tell them as much. For those that will experience the same thing, please do not let it make you second guess yourself in your journey to health. You have likely discussed what your healthy weight should be with your surgeon, keep that number in mind and not the number your family and friends think you should stop at.

Another thing to note is, we do look a bit gaunt at first (even at higher weights) because our body pulls fat from seemingly random locations. I had the most bad ass collar bones/sternum/ribs for a while. I look less skinny at 125-128 in those areas than I did at 145.

It looks like you have had great results from the Gadtric sleeve surgery. Mine is scheduled for next week. What are your best ideas to keep on track with the weight loss?

During loss my goals were:

1. Less than 30-35g of carbs
2. At least 60-80g of protein
3. No more than 600-800 calories (that slowly increased, I wasn't at 800 until month 6)
4. 64oz+ calorie-free beverages per day
5. Once I was eating solid food I kept my portions to 1-1.5oz for a long time
6. I felt no need to add veggies until I could eat a 2.5-3oz portion of dense protein (around month 5-6), and even then the veggie portions were/are TINY. I still only eat about 1oz of veggies per day.
7. No snacky foods - I did not buy/eat anything that wasn't a dense 'on plan' protein food until I was at goal. So, I ate: meat (beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish, seafood), eggs, greek yogurt, and cheeses as pretty much my whole diet. I did not 'health-ify' baked goods or buy things like Moon Cheese/Bean Crisps/Protein Bars. None of that.

Thank you! That was a lot of good information. Clearly it worked.

Tonya

I learned all this from listening to the vets here who have been maintaining a long time (and not my Registered Dietician who is baffled that I opted to stay low-carb). If you do that, you'll do just fine.

My collar bones are awesome! I love them and hope they never go away. I flaunt them all day erreday!

In August at 140lbs-ish I had a DEXA scan done and my arms had the highest fat percentage. My overall was 24% but my arms were over 30%. I was sad because I had been hitting the gym hard and I thought my arm bulk was from weight training! Then I had a DEXA scan done the day before my plastics and was 130lbs and my arms had lost 11% fat. So apparently, that was my last place to lose.

At one point my friend said my ribs/chest/collar bones looked Holocausty (this was not an offensive comment, we just have a rather sarcastic relationship) and she was right. But, meanwhile, I had plenty of fat elsewhere!

very true. there is a settling period...i've had bariatric patients in support groups tell me I looked anorexic....um no, my collar bones make me look thin in a halter top, if i posted photos of my thighs, same person would tell me i needed to lose more weight.

Last night at my nephew's birthday party it was noted by family that you can see/notice my skull bone at the sides of my forehead. My response was what others have said here- that my body is pulling fat pretty randomly and that it will re-balance after I reach my goal weight. I also told them that while I look like I'm at a good weight now (normal BMI) it is important to remember that re-gain is a real risk and getting to my actual goal, and holding there for a few months may help improve my chances of bouncing back to a healthy long term weight.

Overall I've found that giving a shorter term timeline helps people feel better. Suggesting I'm still losing to reach a goal that I will only hold for a few months while my body adjusts and the fat redistributes, seems more palatable to them. Maybe it feels more reasonable, or maybe it just feels like I'll be back to "normal" like previous diets? Either way they seem to back off.

My niece has been a little overweight for the past few years, over the past five months she lost almost all of the excess weight and she's looking awesome! There was some awkward between us last night as she took in that I'm now even smaller than she is. I've been overweight the whole time she's known me (or at least the time she can remember me) so this is weird for her. Jane, on the other hand, was a tiny size zero through high school and college and only put on weight in her mid twenties. I felt weirdly apologetic, like I needed to say "but YOUR weight loss is WAY more amazing than mine, mine is mechanical and yours is pure effort!" I didn't say anything but it was just... awkward. I know that she's very happy for me, and she's very happy that I'm active and getting strong. I'm also old LOL, so she looks WAY better than me! Young, blond, healthy curvy, and no matter her weight she's always been a beautiful girl! It was the first time I've felt that way, kind of guilty, for my weight loss "success".