Throwing out the V day candy..surprisingly hard

My biggest concern is your ex sexually assaulting you. Those chocolates would have followed him out the door.

Noone needs an asshole in their life

Maybe the real reason you found those chocolates so tempting is because you were sexually assaulted and food is a coping device for you. Maybe you self-medicate painful emotional feelings with food and alcohol.

Grabbing your chest and unwanted petting are sexual assault.

I am very sorry that happened to you.

Sugar is a drug -- one that releases serotonin and is often used to self-medicate. There's a reason that the disease of obesity is often co-morbid with depression. People assume that being fat makes a person depressed -- but I think it may be more of a symptom of depression. Obesity can be a visual and outward sign to the world that says, "I am hurting."

I would encourage you to do whatever it takes to keep this "ex" out of your life completely, even if that requires filing a police report, a restraining order, etc. You have a right not to be assaulted.

Kat I am glad you posted this.

Ty Kat

I took your advice ( ty) and rather than throwing out candy others would consider a treat I took it to an old-ladies' local painting group meeting.

They scarfed the chocolates happily of course .. along with their own homemade cookies, donuts , caramel apples... gosh I don't know how they do it .. but they're smiling ... and really not at all overweight.

One thing I tell myself is that I am not a human garbage can.

It is okay to throw things out like this.

You deserve to be treated like a lady. Not a possession.

O my gosh, ty ty for saying that (((())) . I don't know if anyone else can relate but i have such mixed and strong feelings both wanting connection and affection and being revolted and repulsed by disrespect because of my weight( before WLS) or low self esteem after .

Being "thin" really doesnt solve all the problems - you imagine it will but it doesnt.

Being thin definitely does not. Being fat becomes the blanket scapegoat for all our misery. When it's gone, we must come to terms with what is really making us unhappy.

But here's a truth: the very same people who disrespect and are repulsed by someone due to weight, are the same people who are disrespectful period. It's not the fat, lack of beauty, or appearances that makes someone cruel to another -- it comes from within that person.

That includes ourselves.

Kat thank you again for posting.

Totally true. The worst are the people who you are totally invisible or beneath in their eyes until you lose weight and suddenly you are worthy of their attention! I have had this with coworkers as well as relatives!

Show their true colors! I always remember this and value the people in my life who treated me the same at any size.