Looking for support

Here is the website if you or anyone had interest. We just found this last year when my MIL passed away and my husband and sisters needed to have an estate sale for her home. She lived in IL and we are in CT.

https://www.estatesales.net/?utm_source=gmail.com&utm_medium =email&utm_term=06488&utm_conten****erbury-CT&utm_campaign= 2018-02-13-1DaysBefore

lot of fun! I signed up for emails so we know in advance if good stuff or not! Go to one or two a month lately!

Maybe he is jealous or insecure? Worried of attention you might get? Scared and secretly wants you to gain weight (trying to make you eat your favorite ice cream and pizza)? Do you work outside the home?

i feel sorry for what you are going through. Not right.

Hopefully he will come to his senses in time... maybe he needs reassurance that you are the same person and that nothing has changed? Other then you are healthy and yes happier but need his support not purposely tempting you. I would tell him , Please do not bring these things "for me" to tempt me again. Get yourself a personal one if you want it. Tell him flat out he is being mean trying to sabatoge you. Sometimes you have to be firm and strong with some Fire to get your point across! My temper is getting up just thinking about this.

I feel your pain! My husband is the same damned way! I was 340 lbs before deciding to have the surgery. I have now been able to lose almost 90 lbs, but the husband COULD CARE LESS. His reasoning is, "I married you when you were heavy and I don't like skinny girls." Well....I'm a far cry from skinny. He nags because I don't have time for him because I started exercising (30-45 min a day). He still doesn't understand what is on my diet and what isn't. (He will make Hamburger Helper for himself and have a fit if I don't "join in" eating it!).

I told him when I started this journey that if I had to do it alone, I would, but not to blame me if our marriage went to hell. In fact, i made him sign a sheet of paper stating that he understood that.

I have been blessed, however, with a good support group at work and my few BFFs, one of whom has been through this.

Join a support group and seek counseling to help you deal with your abandonment issues. That is what I have done. I'm personally glad I started this journey, and I will continue it with or without him.

I would let him have a fit then!

Good for you for finding the outside support!

I was married to a guy who wanted to support a major medical decision I made, but ultimately couldn't. He felt like I didn't care about him because I didn't agree with him. It's my body, my health, I took his thoughts as important but made the best choice I could for me (prophylactic mastectomy after finding out I have the BRCAII mutation). He felt that the WLS was an equally bad choice (also done to help reduce my risk of cancer) but by the time I decided to do this we were separated.

I fought hard to keep my marriage alive, but it is so hard when you feel like you're being forced to chose between your health and their ego or sense of self, or what ever it is that keeps them from really WANTING you to be healthy and happy.

I'm sorry you are going through this but please keep your health at the front of your priorities! And remember, even if he is thin and fit, eating garbage foods is still hurting his body.

My husband was very supportive but as I lost over 200 pounds he was very insecure and would do things that was not supportive. Like suggesting we go eat somewhere I didn't want to go, bring things in that I wouldn't want to eat. After so many years of marriage they fear they are going to lose you.

That being said we were on separate paths, to maintain my New Me, I was active, working out and eating right. He wanted none of that It's OK to do your own thing to stay on track. Don't let anyone take your power away. I did my thing to keep the weight off and my husband did his thing to not lose weight. But we did make time to do things together. Make time for you two as a couple. It's a balancing act.

BTW, sadly I am here today and my husband is not. When the time is right (not sure how old you guys are) you may want to share my story with him. My husband of 39 years passed due to obesity related health issues.

I agree 100% that how my relationship is he eats and drinks what he wants. Not interested in exercising with me. Has walked a few times but not his thing. We find other things to do and enjoy.

I am sorry for your loss Kathy.

(Edited to take personal comment about my husband out. I know he would not appreciate me sharing!:) now I feel guilty and it's Valentines Day!!

You love him and it's OK to worry and be concerned.... Thank you, days like this are hard as he always made my dinner :-)

Keep me posted on how things go

Thanks Kathy! You are right. I just should not be blabbing his height and weight and personal stuff! I would kill him if he did that on some site! :) of course he never would!! Lol def my better half!

What you told Rev Teresa about your husband puts so much into perspective. You are great.

A big hug to you.