Explaining WLS decision

Hi all -

I'm 18 months post-op, down 100+ lbs and feeling great. I've been doing internet dating and after many, many bad dates I recently met a wonderful man and our relationship is moving in a serious direction.

I recently told him about my surgery and while he tells me he's proud of me and thinks I'm "courageous", I can tell he struggles to understand my decision. He's always been fit, is very athletic and at 59 has the body of someone half his age, so I can appreciate that he wouldn't know anything about this.

I've shared with him the facts that I learned, my history, etc. but I know I'm probably leaving out good information. I'm not looking for his approval per se; I'm at peace with my decision. At the same time I'd like him to understand the facts since if things progress between us, he'll likely be in a position to discuss this to his family, etc.

I'd like to send him more information. I know there's great information here, but I also thought I'd reach out here to see if anyone has links to some sites that you have found to be helpful to educate the people in your life.

Thanks

Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies was the book my husband read to understand WLS (and it made him comfortable with what I was doing).

Thanks Liz!

Seconding this! I had my husband and parents read it and it worked really well.

why would he be sharing your personal medical information with his family?

How is would it be any of their business?

Is is he going to share ALL your medical history with his family?

I didn't mean to say he would be sharing my information with his family, and of course it's certainly not their business. I can see how what I wrote suggested that.... in retrospect it was a poor choice of words.

I'm sure you're still in your Gung ho period at 18 months, but take it from 2 old gals ... ^^^^^^^^

You don't owe him, or his family anything!!!! I would stop beating him about the head with your surgery or you'll find him heading for the hills. We all go through the "boring everyone I know" phase, but honestly, that's what OH is for. Our close friends and family listen to us bleating on for a short period, but even they glaze over after a while. Think yourself lucky he's still hanging around and stop talking about it or you'll not have a boyfriend to bore!

Thanks for the reply. I suppose I am still in my "gung ho" period, but it's where I am right now and I wanted to share this with him because it's been part of my life experience. I realize and know that I don't owe him or anyone anything.

But your advice is well taken about not boring him (or anyone) by talking too much about it. Thanks for the warning. :)

great advice.

My partner has always been relatively slim -- grew up on a farm, ate organic, spent lots of time outside, etc. He does not truly get a lifetime of weight struggles. When I started in the weight-loss process I watched a lot of YouTube videos and finally found one that really expressed how I felt and what the surgery meant. It was the before and after video by Lauren Vento -- you can search it up. We sat together and watched the video one night. I think that was a pretty important moment because it was when he finally agreed that it might be a good option for me. And it also still sticks out in my mind nearly three years post-op.

As others said, what you choose to disclose regarding your health is up to you. I'm very open about my surgery with family and friends but not colleagues. Hope this helps!! :)