9 yrs out and gained back 80 lbs since 2015

Need encouragement and advise. No motivation and I hate my self for going back to the old me. Feel like a failure. I am 30 lb away from before my gastric bypass. I over eat due to bordem and cravings. I hate exercise. HELP ME PLEASE!

We can offer suggestions, but it looks like you already know exactly what you need to do. You can definitely lose the regain. Lots of us have struggled with gaining some weight back. The fix isn't easy, but it's simple.

You've got to stop over eating. Just stop. If you're really determined to lose or stop the regain you've got to stop eating extra food no matter how bored and full of cravings you are. There is no magic answer.

There are a huge amount of posts on regain here. Try going to the search bar and searching for "regain" or something similar and you'll get a slew of information. And I know that people will be chiming in here to help you tomorrow morning. Here is my own regain post to get you started. I've had to lose big regains a couple of times and this is what worked for me:

I'm feeling pretty lazy tonight so I'm just copying the text from one of my prior "regain" posts. My answer is still the same regardless. And fortunately for me I've yet to have a third regain which I know is probably 99& attributable to continuing with the following so here you go:

"1) The number on the scale. Resolve to yourself that you will not, under any cir****tances allow it to go higher. Give yourself a couple of weeks at that number, to reassure yourself that yes, you can hold the line and you do know how to stop the gain. Do whatever it takes. Stop the disappointment of stepping on the scale and seeing even a .2 pound gain. You can do this.

2) Meat. Protein. Non-starchy veggies. The end. That's what you feed your body until you are back where you want to be. It's not forever, but it will take awhile and I actually think that's a good thing. By the time you are back to goal you'll have truly integrated that way of eating. No diets. I don't count calories or proteins or carbs or anything. (Other than sugars - because of severe dumping and RH. But sugars won't be much of a part of your life while you are losing.) I'm not dieting. I didn't go through surgery to spend my life dieting. I just eat differently now.

3) Fluid. Get in as much as you can. I typically drink two to three liters of water a day. That's on top of my diet coke (yes, I drink it daily) and anything else I might drink. It's imperative to flush out built up toxins and keep them flushed out. You don't want a bunch of sludge in your body but if you're not drinking enough water I can guarantee you've got a lot of it.

4) Expect to lose slowly. About four or five pounds per month. It took awhile for you to re-gain those pounds. Give yourself that long to lose it. It sounds so desperately slow I know. But slower is better. As I said above, you're building in habits so that you won't be in this spot again. We all know how to lose 30 pounds in month or whatever. And we all know it takes only a week or two to come right back. You are in this for the long term. You will eat this way the rest of your life - with a little more wiggle room when you get to your goal.

5) So much of this is a head game. We feel like since it's going to take a few months we will be in whatever size we are in right now, feeling horribly huge and discouraged, until the whole however many months are over. We tell ourselves that it won't be until then that we feel and look better. Wrong! You will feel better with every pound lost. You will lose clothing sizes along with that horrible worthless feeling all throughout your journey. Yes one day you will get on the scale and see the number you have been waiting for. But things will just be getting better and better during the weeks or months or whatever leading up to that day.

6) Exercise if you want to. Move your body every day even if you don't. Not to earn extra calories to eat, or to burn extra calories. Just because bodies need movement to avoid atrophy. And because it feels good. Walking is great and is all of the exercise I need to be successful.

So that is what I did. Both times I've had to lose regain, that is how I've done it. Obviously I'm human because I had to learn the lesson twice and the second time was even more weight than the first! Life happens and I don't think anyone here would deny that. But we can change. We can do hard things."

Hopefully this helps in some small way. ~amy

Good luck. Determine to make a start. You'll feel better and better with every pound you re-lose.

Wonderfully put,Amy!

Thank you Amy! That almost brought tears to my eyes. Your word**** home 100%!

I'm so glad it helped a bit. Sometimes I worry about being too blunt. I know how hard it is to switch course and I've had big regains - one over 50 pounds - myself.

But we can do hard things. And we sell ourselves short when we don't.

Good luck. You're on your way. =)

Be careful on how much you take in to stay hydrated. I to ended up putting a lot of weight on post op after my roux n y surgery. i was so focused on how much liquid i was drinking that i swelled up back to my original weight and then some. Ive been on a pill to help with the water retention and am 50 pounds from my lowest after my surgery. Now keep in mind im sure part of that additional weight was due to what i was eating also - but i knew i majority of it was due to drinking to much liquid through out the day.

The OP is nine YEARS postop. She didn't put on 80 pounds of fluid. Nobody does - and discouraging people from getting in as many fluids as comfortably possible is irresponsible.

Nice try.

Hi there.

I think your first order of business is to figure out why you have no motivation - are you seeing a therapist? It might be wise to start there.

Why are you letting yourself get bored? Can you make a list of other things you can do aside from eat when boredom starts to creep in?

What does "I hate exercise" mean? There are so many ways to move and so many things that count as exercise... surely you can't possibly hate ALL of them? What have you tried? What don't you like about the things you've tried?

I think the no motivation is lack of energy which inturn is the reason exercise I don't like as it is not enjoyable to me and is difficult with my joint and foot pain. I am thinking i may have to do swimming for a while to work up to land based exercises.

Great responses!

I can only add that exercise will only benefit if working if following a proper nutrition plan. Come back to OH as a means of re- educating and confirming as well as for accountability.

Good luck, there are many that have been successful at losing regains, continue to stay humble and seek that advice.