How not to treat people at a support group

It is definitely interesting. There are some fascinating personalities who come to the groups.

Im pre-op and have not yet attended a support group for fear of being judged. These kind of judgy people are so discouraging and are what keep people away!

For what it's worth, this sort of judgment isn't something I'd seen at this group. But every group is going to have a different "personality" and, as with my group, it varies based on who shows up.

I think, though, if you're fearful of judgment, individual counseling is probably a safer place to start than a support group!

I am glad you were there for Eliza.

Me too.

The nearest support group is over an hour away and only once a month, which is why I am so grateful to have this on-line support! I'm three weeks post surgery and doing okay, but was a little worried that my weight loss slowed a bit. Then I read here about making sure I'm drinking my water and tracking my protein better, and another post reminding me that I started doing exercise, so I may be gaining a little muscle weight. So, my mind is at peace again!

So, just a thank you, y'all!

The support group my surgeon runs is similar - in the city on weekday evening. It would take me forever to get there and back again. I think it might be monthly as well? Although it might be fortnightly. I've definitely been grateful to have OH available for support and wisdom.

I am also glad that I've kept my eyes peeled for a local support group to appear since it's been a very interesting experience. Mostly good, with a few not so good things. Last night's was definitely on the not so good end of the spectrum. But it's mostly been a positive experience and it's nice to chat with people at all points in the WLS process.

Ugh, that's awful!! This stuff is already SO personal, and just the protocol of being brand new to a group and jumping in to offer unwanted advice is just so gross. Maybe find out first if it's a group that even allows people to talk while it's someone else's turn? Maybe ask if that person wants your two cents before just laying it out there?? I consider this incredibly rude, and worse, potentially damaging, especially if this nitwit is actually a surgeon! Shame on her! If Eliza knows that she has to get her head around the game first, who among us can't recognize the inherent truth of that statement? It's kind of the game-changer! If your head isn't in it, then no amount of surgery is going to help you in a lasting way. Eliza clearly knows what kind of support she needs, and it wasn't that! I hope the group organizers are able to put a stop to this!

One of the groups I went to was right when I hit my initial goal of a "normal" BMI. Right before the meeting started a woman tried making small talk with me and asked if I had a Surgery date scheduled yet. I pretty much wanted to die.

As the meeting went on it was clear that she was nervous and awkward AF so I could relax a little but still... it's awful to feel body judgement at an obesity support group.

I knew I'd read your story before, I just forgot who had shared it! That's such an awful experience and I know that reading it really stuck in my mind and helped me to be more aware of my own actions and assumptions when I started going to support groups.