The surprisingly harmful aspect of the body positivity movement

You didn't sound harsh at all! Don't worry!

Yes, this - thanks! :) And I don't see it as "look at me, totally healthy!" so much as "no comorbidities YET, but I know they're coming if I don't see this major change through!"

Oh yes, I'm totally aware! I'm committed to the change now, don't worry! I was just mulling over these counter-messages that seem to be everywhere now that I'm actually restricting myself for once! This notion of linking eating whatever you want with personal liberty and not being some boring person who diets, etc, is absolutely the last thing someone like me needs to hear! Or to put it another way: I had this wake-up call on Dec. 29th, which was the day before my 38th birthday, and right before New Year's, too. So after a lifetime of never making New Year's resolutions, I was suddenly faced with the notion that I was going to need to make a bigger resolution than I ever might have before. I suppose for different people there are times to indulge and times to restrain. I'm just - newly - in my first ever time to restrain. I'm frankly just surprised to find that I'm actually able to stick to it, and even enjoy it!

I love the body positive movement and when I weighed 535lbs I loved myself and was the happiest I had ever been. I never agreed with weight loss surgery previously because I was in decent health and had a good life. I loved eating anything I wanted!! When I became chronically ill, a lot of things changed for me and I need to get my health together so thats why I made my choice about wls.

For me the resentment comes in when people get WLS to have a bikini body and fit in just because thats what society tells us- that fat people dont look the right way. Ive spent my life being discriminated on because of my weight. I have told a great many people to kiss my fat @$$ when they didnt treat me right. It took me a long time to realize I was getting this surgery for ME and that I dont have to be bullied by society. The anger comes from a place of resentment, all the people who tell us we arent good enough because of a # on a scale. I believe thats why so many body positive ppl are against wls.

I do understand the resentment. When my friend got her VSG, long before I was even thinking about making a change in my own life, my very first, shameful, instinctive reaction was to think of her as a traitor, too. I GET it. I just don't agree with it. I'm fully of the opinion that you can and should love yourself at any size, but as someone said above, you can't be healthy at any size. Happiness and health aren't necessarily the same thing, though obviously one typically contributes a lot to the other! There shouldn't be any pressure put on people to STAY overweight and unhealthy, just to keep other people company, though! It's a very individual decision to make these lifestyle changes. I fully oppose the notion of how a person "should" look. I agree with you entirely there! But this is just it; I think we're all making these changes for the sake of our health and not for vanity or social conditioning or whatever!

I loved my body at any size... but as I moved into the world I realized that most of the world was designed for average weight and size person.: clothing, shoes, chairs, plane and bus seats, medical equipment (x-ray and MRI), even hospital beds, and.....etc etc. Doing fun thing when I got to 250 was not that much fun anymore. I can't even imagine how people who got bigger deal with that every day.

Love your body at any size - but don't dare try to have fun in normal world.

• will I fit in a chair or both in a restaurant?
• will I be able to get in a out of the car?
• how about symphony or real theater seats? they are only so wide.
• when traveling - when they lost my suitcase - I was stuck with 2 outfits for 4 days: where I was - they had no clothes my size for me to buy.
• the look of horror on fellow passengers when they realized I had the middle seat...and my horror when I realized that this plane was the old - small one and the seats were really very very small...
• roller coaster? why bother
• horse back-riding? in your dreams...same as with skydiving: you are too big...
• even a slide in a water park - I did not try because I was afraid I may get stuck.
• ladders - i had to make sure the one I had can be safe for me to use.

• we need to buy some work stools for production area- I was surprised to see the a lot of them were listed at 225lbs or below.

There are much more examples most of us can give...This society is not prepared to deal with people over 250lbs. Or even smaller.

Health issues beside - living life and enjoying activities is limited for people who are MO.

I had WLS to have happier life.

It's so true. And airlines are making seats smaller all the time! I frequently travel for my work, and it's often not very far, which means smaller planes. I've started asking for the seat belt extender right when I first board, to save myself the embarrassment of asking for it with 10 people in my immediate vicinity overhearing it. I've never not fit into a chair so far, but I've had to teach classes sitting in one that was painfully not made for hips like mine! And I can see where that would just get worse and worse. I'm so glad I've turned this thing around now and now that I have, I'm kind of horrified that I let it go this far before I did, but - better late than never, right?

I was utterly amazed at how much better travelling was after losing the weight. I dont' travel often for work, but usually about once a year I end up needing to travel for training or a conference. I went to a training in California right before my surgery, and then went to the advanced training about 10 months after. NIGHT AND DAY. I fit in the airline seat, could fast walk the length of the terminal (twice) for TSA and gate changes and stuff without feeling like I wanted to die. Then in California was able to walk 4 city blocks (round trip) every day for lunch and then still had the energy to go walk the beaches after training was over.

I grew up travelling, and used to love it. I had grown to hate it because of the hassles. I hadn't realized how much of the hassles were because I was obese.

I love travelling again, and that's a HUGE victory for me.

I HEAR about people having WLS to be thin and look good MUCH more often than I have actually encountered it. I really have only encountered those *****cognize it as a medical necessity of last resort.

I think part of it is age. The older we get, the more serious health issues we get, and the need for WLS becomes more clear.

I actually see far, far more people who say they chose surgery to be alive and healthy for their children than those who simply want to look skinny.

I was nearly 400 pounds and had zero comorbidities. I still knew surgery was the right choice for me and my health.

There is a lot I support about the bopo movement.

where I think it falls short, is there is a significant segment that are still basing their identity on how they look. Determining their self worth on group think.

How is that different from traditional beauty standards?

I didn't have this surgery to meet society's expectations.

I wanted to give myself the best opportunity at living a long healthy life. Everything I read pointed to surgery.

That,to me, is self love.