Sex life help

Rule Number 4: Don't stick anything up my ass, and I won't stick anything up yours.

Lol! I wondered what rule #4 was!

LMAO!

Lol!! Thanks for clarifying! :P

There is so much wrong with this post I almost don't know where to begin. I agree with other folks here in that you desperately need therapy if you are with someone who treats you that way, and also to get to the bottom of why you feel so negative about yourself. Lose the zero, and focus on yourself. You'll be glad you did. I got rid of my 1st husband, and it was the best thing I ever did. Then I found someone who treats me like the queen I am. As far as the anal sex part. I can't help you there. Exit only for me.

Count me as one more voice in support of kicking this jerk to the curb instead of trying to "spice it up".

I had 2 really bad marriages because I tried to change myself to meet what I thought the guy wanted. Twisted myself into knots trying to make it work.

Therapy really helped me realize that I am worth so much more than that.

I took time (a couple of years) to be on my own without any guy... just me and my kiddo. Really get to know myself again, and figure out what I wanted in life, and what I would no longer tolerate.

I now have a hubby who is just flat out awesome. Neither of us is perfect, but we have great communication, we can talk through literally ANYTHING, and we both knew what we wanted in life and in a relationship and what were deal breakers. We got it all out on the table right off the bat, and found that we wanted the same things in life and pretty much had all the same deal breakers. We are stupidly happy, and my college aged daughter keeps telling us to get a room. LOL.

And incidentally, I was at my highest weight when he and I were dating, and we were married by the time I had WLS. He loves me fat, he loves me thinner, and his only concern in the whole time was my health. When he heard the health benefits for the surgery, he was behind me 100%. He's my best friend and my biggest fan and supporter, and that's the way it's supposed to be.

You deserve someone who loves you FOR YOU, not what you look like. And you deserve someone who keeps their promises (like fidelity) and makes you feel like the most important person in the world.

NEVER settle for less. Because once you have that, trust me, the sex is great.

Oh, and as to your specific question, if you are still determined to try to keep this guy...

The best source of information is your surgeon. Most doctors are impossible to shock, so don't worry about asking the question.

Generally speaking, if you have been cleared for all activity (running, weight lifting, etc.) then you should be OK for any type of sexual activity.

Of course, there are a lot of gastric issues that are common post-operatively such as constipation and hemorrhoids that could complicate things. If you're having issues like that I'd suggest getting those resolved first.

And as with any new activity, stop if you start feeling pain or other symptoms that are worrisome, and check with your doc.

Please at least make sure hes using a condom because you dont know where hes been and you dont need to be getting an std. I hope that you know that you deserve so much better then this guy!

This Walmart lothario isn't cheating because of your weight. He is cheating because he is a lousy human. As to anal sex, if you want to do it, be safer and use a condom as someone else said. Your surgery has no bearing on ability to engage in sexual activity, as long as you are cleared for it by your surgeon.

You can get down to your ultimate goal weight, feel beautiful, sexy, healthy and better than ever before - There will ALWAYS be someone skinnier, prettier, blah bligetty blah blah blah for dudes like that. Lose his ass