Sex life help

Ok,here it goes so if I offend anyone I'm sorry...I had RNY 12/14 and my boyfriend of almost 14 yrs is freaking out cuz I'm loosing weight.je thinks im loosing for someone else.he said I think sex is chore and he has to initiate it but that's not it.he left me in 2010 and then in 2015 for 2 different skinny women and here I am a big blimp so I am so embarrassed of my body and I'm afraid he is just gonna look at me and be disgusted but I wanted to try and spice up our sex life like it used to be before I got fat ,I was wanting to try Anal sex but didn't know if I could this early,I was wandering if anyone has tried it? Please if your embarrassed to answer could you send a message? Thank you

Well not the answer you are seeking, but I do have a comment. Your BF should be afraid you are going to leave him after what he has put you through. You will lose weight , become healthier and your confidence is going to skyrocket. The best advice I can give you is to make sure you put yourself first, lose the weight, gain your health and then kick this guy to the curb. Sorry................

Here's a question for you: WHY haven't you kicked this cad out?

And here's another one: WHY are you changing yourself for HIM? Why aren't you changing yourself for YOU!?!?!?

(I don't have enough punctuation marks for that last question.)

Agree with what else has been said. I have been in this kind of relationship (married him) before. Dump his ass and get healthy for YOU. Get some counseling if you need to. There are SO MANY other guys who will be so much better for you, and you?ll attract them all when you are confident in yourself. This guy doesnt deserve you.

Are you seeing a therapist?

Are you seeing a couples therapist?

Why are you still with someone who has treated you this way?

If someone you really cared about came to you and said what you've said in your post, what advice would you give to them? Pretend that you're someone you really care about, since you should be. You deserve better.

want to lose 150 some odd pounds instantly? Dump his cheating ass, he is using you and you are letting him.

Spice up the sex, my ass, spicing it up is not going to keep him from cheating on you. You need to smarten WAYup WAY soon.

I would like to 100 times like what Holly Kim said.

Perspective from a man here. There are lots better men out there than this guy. He has no respect for you. Instead of trying to please him in a way that you hope will change him (and it won't), maintain your dignity and find someone who will treat you properly. He is out there.

You need to lose 200 pounds of boyfriend. And then follow Rule Number 4. Always follow Rule Number 4.

Forgive my ignorance, but what's rule #4?