Brand New and Scared

Hey guys!

I am very new to this forum as well as the weight loss community. I have struggled my entire life with my weight. A number of issues have caused this from PCOS to abusoce relationships and family members. I think sometimes being overweight was as much as shield as it was a burden. But now I need to fix it and I need help.

I am nervous about the diet...I have never been a meal prep kind of person an ld I know I will have to change that. Does anyone have any pointers on making the adjustments?

Secondly, I am a single mom raising a child with special needs by myself. Most days I am exhausted and frustrated and I just want to know if there are any other single parents I could connect with and learn your ways?

Extra info: I have not yet had a consultation but I plan to arrange something in the spring to see if bariatric surgery is right for me.

I am looking forward to meeting new people and making friends!

Thanks!

I think many of us have a certain amount of fear going into this, so your reaction is normal.

I don?t do so much meal prep, but I am mindful as to what I buy and make myself to eat. Your diet will change quite drastically and you will likely take vitamins for an extended period, if not forever. My prep is mainly packing my lunches for work, and filling up my pill box with vitamins. You will need to make good choices and keep up on your hydration.

I was a single mom for many years after leaving a very tumultuous and verbally abusive marriage. All I can say is try to stay focused on the beautiful gift you?ve been given, and don?t let the stress of being a single mother rob you from precious moments with your child. You can do this, and you can do this while simultaneously taking control of your health.

My mood has improved greatly, I have more drive to do things I want to do, and more stamina. I was always so tired and in pain. This has improved. I?m striving to be the best version of me, and this improves every aspect of ones life if you ask me.

There is usually a lengthy pre-op process. Mine would have taken 6 months plus, but I took extra time due to a small setback, and then again extending my program out of fear. Just keep that in mind.

Wishing you the best in your decision making process. I feel like it was a very good move for me, and I?m extremely happy with my results so far.

Welcome!

It's been a long time, but I was a single mom after an abusive relationship as well. I can't imagine going through that on top of caring for a child with special needs.

I was fighting auto-immune arthritis and a few other chronic illnesses when I finally decided on the surgery. As well as working full-time and doing a graduate school program. So I know exactly what you're talking about with being exhausted all the time.

It's possible to do the surgery without doing meal planning and such. I'm over a year out and my hubby and I just started doing meal planning and prep at the beginning of this year. I just couldn't manage the meal prep thing after surgery. That's not saying I made the best meal choices all the time, but it's possible to get meals that meet the post-surgery macro nutrient needs at restaurants (even fast-food) and pre-prepared items at the grocery store. It's definitely more expensive that way, but it's doable.

Now that we're doing meal prep and freezing leftovers and things, I can see how it would have been better to do it from the beginning. So I'd suggest that you do what you can, but don't stress overmuch about it.

I can relate as far as having PCOS and a history of abuse. I also have a toddler and understand how you can go through a whole day taking care of your kiddo and not have the energy to take care of yourself. Surgery made it possible for me. I'm not a meal planner, I just consistently make low carb choices and try to distract myself instead of eat if I'm not actually hungry. It isn't a perfect solution but surgery was what I needed and I'm glad I did it.

I don't think many people realise how difficult it is to parent a child with special needs, particularly as a single parent. I have had an NT son also and there is no comparison.

I have a 14 year old son with classic non verbal autism and I spent many years as a single mother, all of those years post WLS. I have seen many special needs parents on here over the years, all of whom had had the surgery to better their health to better care for their kiddos for the long, probably into adulthood, term.

Know that this is a great decision for your and your child's future. I'm not sure my son would still be in my home if I were still morbidly obese.

Meal prep can actually be VERY easy after you've had surgery! Stock your fridge with things like Greek yogurt, string cheese, and lunch meat. Cook a roast, and portion it out for a week's worth of meals. You can absolutely do healthy, low-effort meals after WLS.

Check out the daily menu threads on both the VSG and RNY boards to see what people are eating. It's not nearly as complicated as you might think!

I always thought of meal prepping as doing alllll the cutting and whatnot a month or so in advance and freezing the whole mess. If I define it like you do, which I much prefer to, I'm crushing it. Woohoo!

Oh, gosh... OAMC? No, there's LOTS of ways to do meal prep, that's just one option. I personally cannot devote an entire weekend to the shopping and prepping for that, my stamina isn't enough for that.

What hubby and I have started doing is planning the week's meals, do the shopping, and then when we make each dish take out the servings for that meal, and then package the rest up for leftover lunches or for freezing. We schedule a day or 2 each week as "leftover day" so we don't have as much wastage.

I'd love to start doing all of the prep for the week (chopping, browning, etc.) so I'm that much ahead, but we're not there yet. We're currently choosing quick things to put in the crock pot or instant pot for most meals and doing the prep at the time we're ready to cook.

Do the small steps you're able to, and don't stress about doing something overwhelming like OAMC.

I'm not stressing at all. Even if I had fridge/freezer space for prepping-it's just not my style, but like I said to the OP-people who can do that ( or any ) type of advance work get a gold star and my admiration. It's great that you can do that!

I don't work outside the home-I have been a SAHM for most of my children's lives. I know that makes a huge difference in time available to cook. Since I'm usually home-I don't need to meal prep beyond doing my grocery shopping in one fell swoop-and that is done mostly out of irritation and grumpiness with the public at large these days.

Good that you aren't adding that stress to your already heaping plate. :) Between the original post and your reply, it sounded like you thought you had to do something like OAMC to do WLS successfully. I'm with you... hooray for those who can do OAMC or even OAWC. Hubby and I are trying to just move to a situation where we eat home-cooked meals almost all the time (except for planned restaurant outings). So planning and shopping for the week is as far as we can get right now. At some point I'd love to pre-do the prep stuff for the week when we get in from the store, but I exhaust myself just with the shopping honestly.

I just wanted to reassure you that even what I'm doing now isn't required for WLS success. It helps to pre-plan your food and cook at home, but even if that's not possible you can still be successful. We were eating tons of pre-prepared food and even drive-thru for the entire year & 4 months after my surgery because of my insane schedule and lack of energy.

Of course early on while I was on liquid and then soft diet, I just laid in a stock of what I could have within my surgeon's directions. After I could eat "regular" food again, I just focused on protein, staying away from refined carbs and sugars (I personally don't do keto or ultra-low carb for a bunch of reasons) and I lost steadily until this past winter, and while I haven't lost down to goal, I was able to maintain through the winter with tons of health issues. I'll do another push for goal after my seasonal health crap dies down. :)

Certainly, eating out and pre-prepared foods isn't ideal, but since you already cook at home you're already ahead of where I was. :)