Change

Yesterday I went wedding dress shopping with my daughter. I looked in the mirror and was like holy crap you look like a mess.

I have had some regain. I also stopped caring what I looked like. I am a person who usually has her hair done and makeup.

Wearing leggings were something that did not help me think I wasn't gaining weight.

I am still down over a 100 pounds. But seeing myself in the mirror was a wake up call.

My face looked sad. Disheveled is more like it.

Not that everyone has to wear make up. Or dress like me.

Getting lost sometimes does bring us back where we started before surgery.

I went and got my hair cut shorter. Bought lighter make up so I didn't look like Elvira of the night.

I feel better today. Refocusing on taking care of me again.

The holidays can really put a monkey wrench in life. Just the running and extra crap we have to do.

I have reset my head. Well one meal at a time.

Went grocery shopping for the first time and bought everything on my list without buying stuff I don't need.

I need to edit this. The whole thing about me not feeling good about myself was I saw a women who stopped taking pride as I looked like.

I am four years out and I have to think and remember that I had WLS. Why I had it also.

So many vets here have helped me. I am replaying what they said to me when I was just post-op.

Changing my behaviors is one thing I have to do. It really can lead to a slippery slope.

I am glad you are finding way back to caring about yourself, not only the looks but also what is going inside ...

FYI: I like the new hairdo. Very nice. Classy.

Long term post op it is so easy to lose focus. Old habits sometimes return. Or we may create new "not so good habits". I know I do- did.

I had a few setbacks and my own action started causing harm to me and my body. When I don't feel good physically- I also start feeling bad mentally. And often mental struggling leads to poor choices- in food, drinking, and physical activity. That can create self propelling circle that can be challenging to break.

Be able to realize that we are in trouble and start correcting that when not too much damage is done is important.

Susan - you can do it. I can do it. We can do it. Start taking care of ourselves for us. Not for anyone else.

I had an interesting visit with chiropractor. He told me "you are looking nice today". That made me realize that in the last 2+months he 0onky saw me before my morning exercise- when I wore workout clothes, little old and baggy.. Comfortable cloths.

That also reminded me that i can wear nice workout clothes- and most likely- I will feel better about myself and gave a better workout wearing them. A nice looking workout clothes don't need to be expensive. I bought 2 pair of pants for 10 each, and I dug out my "nicer" looking workout shirts. I am set nit only to look better while working out, but also look better while I do that. No more "whatever" stuff for working out.

Thank you. It is more about how I feel inside. The looks for me reflect on how I am feeling. I didn't look bad to most people. I just say in my eyes something wasn't right.

I can go out of the house without makeup. And be okay with that.

The mental struggle is hard. I can remember not being able to eat anything. I loved it.

Now pretty much I can eat everything. Sugar and other ****

One thing I will say is I am still sober. Almost two years.

So there has been a lot of changes. Good and bad.

Life happens. It isn't always easy.

I totally know I can do it. Totally.

Just seeing my face said it all yesterday.

I love your new haircut and positive resilient attitude!!! You are a beautiful lady with or without makeup OBVIOUSLY but I agree that it's a natural process that we enjoy making the " most " of our God- given looks for a while and then... of course we want to test the waters and RELAX.

Please find me ONE woman who likes the look of her hindquarters in leggings in a 3=way mirror lol!!!! But trust me- guys aren't turning around because they don't love that angle

I remember having one of those moments in the mirror (mine was pre-op) looking at myself like, 'is THAT what others see when they see me?' My wardrobe was 'yoga' pants and a t-Shirt. Just like you decided to cut your hair and change your make-up, I went through my closet and rid myself of everything that made me feel frumpy. Then, After surgery once I'd relaced my wardrobe, I reorganized my closet. Doing so made me realize the weight loss transition left me in the same frumpy, indifferent place about my self-care- again.

I get it, it's so easy to fall into that trap. I have no wise words of how to avoid it, or even how to crawl back out when you find yourself in the box unintentionally. I'm just glad you did.

I think you just coming here and posting says it all. We all have had these moments.

I don't always wear leggings. I do for work. Since I am a nanny.

Avoiding it I think it helps to come here and just read.

I love the new shorter cut!

I have been away from OH and a lot of other websites/online support for seven months and just reinstated my OH account thinking I could hold my self accountable and that I had this....that has not worked well for me at all. I had regained 15lbs and still have not reached my goal. At my 12 month bariatric appt. I was 143 lbs. and doing well but had gained 10 lbs. at my 18 month appt. I had a new bariatric nurse and she said "well, you don't need to reach your goal weight as long as you feel health".... and that has really messed with my head and I had gained another 5 lbs. over the last couple months and feeling that I have got to turn this regain around. So, I really understand the need to get back on track. I have managed to lose the last 5 lbs. gain, but am still have 10 lbs. to lose to get me back to the 143 lbs. I am getting back to the basics and am determined to lose not only the regain but to get to my goal weight of 120 lbs. I do dump on sugar though and also on potatoes, pasta and rice ( my first bite of any of those and I am immediately nauseous (I think it is the starch).....which actually make me thankful.

I am a homebody (which reaches a whole hibernation level in the Winter) and retired so I have a tendency to wanna run around in my sweats on days when I don't feel good about myself but I keep fighting with myself to stay away from that slouchy mode. Although, I do put my sweats on to workout on my Pilates machine because it is much more comfortable. I have a couple pairs of leggings but I have a physiological thing about them...feel like I am going back to my childhood and wearing my leotards....yea, I know...but it is a thing, lol.

Anyway, I didn't mean to go on and on, but I guess I just wanted to say that I get everything you were saying.....and we both got this!

Hibernation is one thing that I know for me is bad. I do enjoy my alone time. But I know when I am feeling like I don't want to leave my bedroom.

I live in the Adirondacks and we have very long and snowy winters. I am just not into outdoor winter sports and the wright I lost, I get cold all the time. I do enjoy shoveling the snow for exercise though, my DH thinks I am nuts, lol. I do try to keep active in my house though to keep out of a funk. My husband I have started attending a local church too which I am enjoying as a way of getting out.