How do I tell my bf I had surgery?

I had vsg 8.5 months ago. I started dating a new guy about 2.5 months ago. I think the time has come to tell him about my surgery. I'm going through issues directly related to my surgery and it's bleeding into all areas of my life, including mine and his relationship. What do you suggest is the best approach? I'm so nervous ?

What sort of issues are you having? Health issues? Has he asked you questions about them? If he has, then that's a good opening to tell him about the surgery. Please don't be embarrassed that you had surgery. If you behave as if it's a shameful thing, then he will take his cue from you and view it as shameful as well.

When people ask me how I lost weight, I straight up tell them that I had surgery, especially if it's someone that knew me pre-surgery. I don't whisper it, I don't shout it--I might as well be saying that I had my hair cut and colored. Usually, people nod and say, "Good for you! You look great!" and I say, "Thanks!" and we move on with our lives.

Channel your inner Caesar Millan and project what you want your boyfriend to feel. He might surprise you and be prepared for technical questions. Let us know how it goes!

Jen

Great advice. This is the tactic I use as well when it comes up. Hopefully the OP ends up in s situation where there's an easy segue!

You know him better than we do, but I think there are a few options and it depends on your relationship and what sort of communication patterns you have.

Of course, there's the option of just telling him, verbally, in person. Over dinner or whenever it's comfortable.

There's also the option of sending an email - this can work well if you want to give a person time to process something in a non-face to face situation.

If you tend to communicate via messaging, that might work best.

But, really, only you know what the best route will be so trust your instincts. :) Take deep breaths.

How serious is your relationship? If it's serious, I assume he has seen you eat. Has he never mentioned how little you eat? I would just flat out tell him. If it bothers him, it's better to know now than to invest any more time in the relationship. Don't waste time with an asshole.

ETA I used to do online dating. I never told anyone until I was sure we would be seeing each other on a regular basis and then if they asked questions about my eating habits, I told them. None of them cared.

It definitely varies how people handle it, but I also did online dating after surgery and totally treated surgery as though it were any other procedure to improve my health. I mean, I figured I wouldn't be ashamed to say "I had to have my gall bladder out" or "I had my tonsils removed" so why would WLS be different? I brought it up somewhat casually, and just said, "So a year ago [or 8 months ago, or whatever] I realized that I was a rather healthy fat person, but I wanted to make sure I was around for another hundred years, so I had a procedure and since then I really make sure to eat high protein and low carb, and move a lot more, which is really going well" or something like that. Then, the guy could ask questions if he was curious, but it was never a turn-off for anyone. Good luck! And I hope you resolve your issues!