Is this what "Enjoy your turkey" means?

From William Bradford's History of Plymouth Plantation, 1620-1647, Volume II (Massachusetts Historical Society, 1912), 308-310, 328-330.

Ther was a youth whose name was Thomas Granger; he was a servant to an honest man of Duxbery, being about 16 or 17 years of age. (His father and mother lived at the same time in Sityate.) He was this year detected of buggery (and indicted for the same) with a mare, a cow, two goats, five sheep, two calves and a turkey. Horrible it is to mention, but the truth of the history requires it.

He was first discovered by one that accidentally saw his lewd practice towards the mare. (I forbear perticulers.) Being upon it examined and committed, in the end he not only confessed the fact with that beast at that time, but sundry times before and at several times with all the rest of the forenamed in his indictmente; and this his free-confession was not only in private to the magistrates, (though at first he strived to deny it) but to sundrie, both ministers and others; and afterwards, upon his indictmente, to the whole court and jury; and confirmed it at his execution.

And whereas some of the sheep could not so well be knowne by his description of them, others with them were brought before him and he declared which were they and which were not. And accordingly he was cast by the jury and condemned, and after executed about the 8 of Sept 1642. A very sad spectacle it was; for first the mare, and then the cowe, and the rest of the lesser cattle were [killed] before his face, according to the law, Levit: 20.15; and then he himself was executed. The cattle were all cast into a great and large pit that was digged of purposs for them, and no use made of any part of them.

Ye olde police blotter

He obviously needed a better attorney.

There's no way he was guilty of buggery with said turkey. Turkeys don't even have an anus -- they have a cloaca.

The kid obviously took animal Husbandry very literally.

Everyone knows that mares are the vixens of the barnyard. Don't even get me started about sheep. Cows can dress very provocatively.

But, I guess that made no negligée-bull difference to Puritans.

Ain't that the true about mares.

My Saddlebred is a tall, elegant, red head who is nothing but a hussy. My poor gelding I had years ago would be tortured by her. It didn't matter if she was in heat or not her butt was always in his face. The look on his face was priceless. He was such a gentlemen that he wouldn't even bite her to get her away from him. He just turned his head away in hopes she would leave him along. LOL

It is okay to love animals. It is not okay to looovvveee them.

GRIM - what a sick sense of humor you have...perhaps that is why I sought you out, so long ago, my friend

First, sheep lie.

Second, they are baaaaad liars.

He was just pushing them through a fence...

This post is a tradition...for the Grim. I think he shares it annually :-)