Is this what "Enjoy your turkey" means?

Grim_Traveller
on 11/21/17 2:11 am
RNY on 08/21/12

From William Bradford's History of Plymouth Plantation, 1620-1647, Volume II (Massachusetts Historical Society, 1912), 308-310, 328-330.

Ther was a youth whose name was Thomas Granger; he was a servant to an honest man of Duxbery, being about 16 or 17 years of age. (His father and mother lived at the same time in Sityate.) He was this year detected of buggery (and indicted for the same) with a mare, a cow, two goats, five sheep, two calves and a turkey. Horrible it is to mention, but the truth of the history requires it.

He was first discovered by one that accidentally saw his lewd practice towards the mare. (I forbear perticulers.) Being upon it examined and committed, in the end he not only confessed the fact with that beast at that time, but sundry times before and at several times with all the rest of the forenamed in his indictmente; and this his free-confession was not only in private to the magistrates, (though at first he strived to deny it) but to sundrie, both ministers and others; and afterwards, upon his indictmente, to the whole court and jury; and confirmed it at his execution.

And whereas some of the sheep could not so well be knowne by his description of them, others with them were brought before him and he declared which were they and which were not. And accordingly he was cast by the jury and condemned, and after executed about the 8 of Sept 1642. A very sad spectacle it was; for first the mare, and then the cowe, and the rest of the lesser cattle were [killed] before his face, according to the law, Levit: 20.15; and then he himself was executed. The cattle were all cast into a great and large pit that was digged of purposs for them, and no use made of any part of them.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

CC C.
on 11/21/17 6:12 am

Ye olde police blotter

CerealKiller Kat71
on 11/21/17 6:14 am
RNY on 12/31/13

He obviously needed a better attorney.

There's no way he was guilty of buggery with said turkey. Turkeys don't even have an anus -- they have a cloaca.

The kid obviously took animal Husbandry very literally.

Everyone knows that mares are the vixens of the barnyard. Don't even get me started about sheep. Cows can dress very provocatively.

But, I guess that made no negligée-bull difference to Puritans.

"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat

ladygodiva1228
on 11/22/17 10:10 am - Putnam, CT
Revision on 02/04/15

Ain't that the true about mares.

My Saddlebred is a tall, elegant, red head who is nothing but a hussy. My poor gelding I had years ago would be tortured by her. It didn't matter if she was in heat or not her butt was always in his face. The look on his face was priceless. He was such a gentlemen that he wouldn't even bite her to get her away from him. He just turned his head away in hopes she would leave him along. LOL

Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150

Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl

    

Sparklekitty, Science-Loving Derby Hag
on 11/21/17 8:57 am
RNY on 08/05/19

Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!

mschwab
on 11/21/17 4:02 pm
RNY on 11/21/14

It is okay to love animals. It is not okay to looovvveee them.

 Height: 5'7".  HW: 299, Program starting weight: 290, SW: 238, CW 138 - 12 pounds under goal!  

     

Gina 22 years out
on 11/22/17 5:40 am - Burleson, TX

GRIM - what a sick sense of humor you have...perhaps that is why I sought you out, so long ago, my friend

RNY 4-22-02...

LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155

We Can Do Hard Things

Highfunctioningfatman
on 11/23/17 5:55 pm
VSG on 08/29/16

First, sheep lie.

Second, they are baaaaad liars.

He was just pushing them through a fence...

zann50
on 11/24/17 11:13 am

This post is a tradition...for the Grim. I think he shares it annually :-)

Most Active
×