So, my husband was sleeved October 2016 & I had RNY October 2007. I lost roughly 195pounds, and have regained 38 pounds. My husband lost roughly 85 pounds, and has regained about 15 pounds, and still gaining,

My husband had an appointment last month with the surgeon and Nutritionist, for his one year follow up appt. At that time, the surgeon and nutritionist had told him, a lot of his "hunger" was head hunger, and the fact that he wasn't wanting to follow the rules and try to do right. Nobody was holding a gun to his head and forcing him to eat cake, ice cream cookies, and pre WLS portion sizes. They both told him that, if he doesn't show a weight loss by his appointment in January,they will recommend him see a therapist. That there has got to be a reason why he isn't willing to even try and lose.

I had an appointment with the same surgeon (he preformed RNY on myself in 2007) and nutritionist last week. I had a 15 pound gain since I was there in May. (Damn menopause and food in general ). After a good long talk with both surgeon AND nutritionist, I was reminded and told I knew what to do, and enough determenation to "get it done" (meaning getting back on track). I came out of the appointment feeling like I was giving another chance. And am willing to take it.

I guess I just can't understand why, my husband couldn't care less about, taking this second chance on life. ANd get himself healthy

I get it. Same could be said of my husband, who absolutely needs to lose weight for his health (he's not a WLS patient****il one is mentally ready to put in the work- nothing anyone can say or do will motivate them.

Its hard sitting by watching when you know how grim the outcome cane be.

Yes ma'am, it's very hard watching.

I am not married but this is the exact reason why I continued my psychologist appointments after I did the one required by my insurance. (I am pre-op, by the way; surgery in December). It was important that I figured out why I chose to eat as I do. I am/was an emotional eater - any emotion, good or bad, was a reason to eat. I know that one visit alone would not help me get to the root cause of it all. I see the psychologist every 2 weeks (by choice) and it has simply been amazing! I have learned so much about myself and why I made some of the decisions I've made in the past.

Seeing a psychologist may not be a bad idea for your husband if he is willing. Sure, it is true that nobody put a gun to his head but there may be more to it than simply food. He may be going to the food to cover something else. I wish you both well!

Congrats on your up coming surgery. Thanks for the advice. And good luck!

Unfortunately food is a drug of choice for some, one for which you cannot go cold turkey. This was one of the main reasons I had the DS. I knew restriction would not be enough for me- I needed significant malabsorption to get to and maintain a normal weight.

But ditto on what everyone else has said, until someone is ready to work on the issues, no about of ranting or nagging will help.

Some people want the surgery to do all the work while others realize it's only a small, but important, part of the puzzle. Until he understands if he doesn't do his part it will all be for naught, he's going to continue to regain.

Wouldn't it be great if we could make someone do what we knew they should do?

It would be So wonderful if, he'd do what we knew he should do. LOL Thanks for letting me vent,

If it were me, I would not wait until January to get someone inside my head and help me figure out what the problem is. And that is where it is, in his head. I had surgery the same month he did. I'm down 202 lbs. I am still losing. I made the change in my head. He needs to do that to, but no one can make it for him. He needs to do it himself. Therapy can help.

Most people gain 5 lbs during the holidays...so if he tacks an ADDITIONAL 5 lbs onto what he has already gained...