What's in your head, WLSers?(11-6-17)
Great thread Julie!
I think this time of year brings on added stress and negative feelings for us all. I try to take those feelings and anxiety one by one and it helps. Hang tough everyone we have all come so far and know the "head" issues carry the biggest punch!
HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125
RW:190 - CW:130
I thought I was alone until I opened your thread Julie, thank you. I'm lying to myself everyday about what food I have allowed back into my life. I am still 29 pounds from my goal and I am panicking. I didn't get there in my first year and now I am closing in on my 2nd year in February. I find myself slipping back into the same mindset of feeling invisible again.
It's rough, Kristi. I feel like every day requires constant vigilance and that it will forever. Sigh. You can do it though. You'll get there.
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
I have had major depression and PTSD most of my life. A lot of my day to day anxiety was always about not being able to do or be enough, mainly because of my weight. I have a 5yr old and I've had tons of guilt over not being able to get on the floor and play or run around with him. I thought losing weight would help emotionally. I guess in certain aspects it has. I am down almost 100lbs but have 100 more to go. Unfortunately I am headed into another depressive episode. I struggle with cravings every day. My anxiety is all over the place. Yes, I see a therapist and I am on meds. I am grateful for the surgery and happy to have lost 100lbs. I just have to face up to the fact that my excess weight wasn't the cause of my day to day issues.
My brain is just as faulty as it was before and that is the issue.
Huge hugs to you if you want them. I have bipolar and OCD and a 2-year-old, and I understand how ridiculously hard it can be.
It's weird, but I've had moments where I realized that my mental illness wasn't the cause of all my problems, food-related and otherwise. It's frustrating, but it's also helpful because I work to see how I could change things.
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
I'm there with you. I thought losing weight would go a long way towards increasing my self-esteem and confidence and help me heal from a lifetime of hating myself. But, it turns out that I'm still me and none of my self-esteem issues were really weight related. Now I have to work on figuring out how to love myself without the scapegoat of being fat.
