What's in your head, WLSers?(11-6-17)
Basically I'm having issues with my current weight and having trouble coming to grips with it. my body has changed from my lowest 118 pounds and now I'm somewhere between 128-135 which 135 was my initial goal weight before I said, I can go lower, lower, lower!!!
i feel like I'm a failure because I now don't weight 118. It is totally insane...
on 11/7/17 8:31 am
I could have written that exact statement.
I am back up to my initial goal, which I went lower on, so that I would have a cushion if I ever regained up to this point again. So I am here. It happened. I knew it would--that's why I did it... so why do I fee like such a failure?
- High Weight before LapBand: 200 (2008)
- High Weight before RNY: 160 (2015)
- Lowest post-op weight: 110 (2016)
- Maintenance Weight: 120 (2017-2019)
- Battling Regain Weight: 135 (current)
Isn't it crazy when we lost the first 100lbs or whatever, even lost more for that bounce back then get mad at ourselves when we do get the bounce back? It's like the first 100 or 150 or whatever pounds means nothing that we kept off. Now we got hung up on the 20lbs or whatever number that came back & won't leave!
No one surgery is better than the other, what works for one may not work for another. T-Rebel
My doctor initially gave me a goal of 150. I was sure that that was too high, because it is still considered overweight. I got down to 137, and was so happy! Now I'm at 161, and I hate it. So, I argued with my doc, because he said I would be good at 150, and I'm now 11 over that! Crap. Now my goal is 149, which is just at normal weight. I just want to be normal.
5' 5" tall. VSG on August 4, 2015/ Starting weight 239.9/ Surgery weight 210.9/ Current weight 137.4/ Goal weight 140/ No longer overweight, now a NORMAL weight. Now that I'm at goal, it's time to move on to maintenance!!!!!!!!
I spend most of my waking hours thinking about my next meal. I get so frustrated with myself, and envious of posters on here that speak of 'forgetting' to eat! How do they do that??! I never miss my meals by accident! Never!
I have been sitting in a 3 pound bubble for months now. It's a good place... anywhere from 136.0 - 138.8... I look good, 5'5" tall, size 6 in pants, S-M in shirts... so why do I feel like I need to feel guilty for not losing more? Shouldn't I be aiming for a size zero??! I am constantly comparing myself to others on here that are my height, or taller, and weigh less...
Then I feel guilt for not feeling guilty! I make a plan to 'go off plan' for a meal, or an event, or a day... and I do it, and I jump right back on the bandwagon. No weight gain, all is good... but then I stress that I'm going to fall off that tightrope and gain it ALL back and won't be able to stop myself... and I feel guilty for 'allowing' myself to do this.
One day I feel so confident, like "I've got this"... then the next I'm certain the scale is going to jump 10lbs in one morning. I even go to enter my weight, and in my mind I'm like 173.8... Ooops, nope, that's 137.8. Damnit. I guess at least I don't start with a 2 anymore... sigh.
Height 5'5" HW 260 SW 251 CW 141.6 (2/27/18)
RNY 5-16-16 Pre-Op 9lbs, M1-18.5lbs, M2-18.1lbs, M3-14.8lbs, M4-10.4lbs, M5-9.2lbs, M6-7lbs, M7-6.2lbs, M8-8.8lbs,M9-7.8lbs, M10-1 lb, M11-.6lbs, M12-4.4lbs
on 11/7/17 7:42 am
It sounds like we have exactly the same self-talk struggles.