What's in your head, WLSers?(11-6-17)

I've been beating the crap out of myself lately, because I have 23 pounds of regain. I so badly need to get my head back in the game, but struggle every day to get back to my goal weight.

admitting that weight gain is the first time I've said the number, 23, "out loud". It scares the Hell out of me!

I'm fighting regain too. The head game SUCKS doesn't it? It gets exhausting to be so vigilant when it would be sooo easy to slip back into old habits, and I've been losing the fight more days than not recently.

Regain fighters UNITE! Yeah going thru the same thing too. I was just glad that I was able to stop the regain. It's just so easy to put my head in the sand & pretend it didn't happen., or go thru the whole oh I look normal, so its ok to let a couple of things slide. So easy for the couple to turn into a whole lot!

Ever after writing that, I've gained 2 pounds this last week. This is the worst time of year to give up on myself, because it will only get worse with the holidays coming. I dread going through Thanksgiving, Christmas and my birthday in early February.

Today was a day when all I wanted to do was eat. I think it was a combination of boredom and flirting with my goal weight, which isn't the momentous experience I thought it would be. I don't feel "done" and the uneasiness of that stokes my eating flame. My stomach wouldn't let me, which I am grateful for. I grazed a little, but threw out several things I started on that just didn't taste worth the calories. So it was still a decent day, though my food feelings were all over the map.

I've been very depressed lately, to the point of barely being functional and not wanting to leave the house on some days. I've got several diagnoses and am on a decent amount of psych meds along with my physical stuff. And I've thankfully been stable on all of these meds and supplements for quite some time, but something seems to have changed.

The possibility of needing a med change/adjustments terrifies me. But frankly the bottom line is I am just sick of myself. I've got not one reason to feel this way and if I would get off my lazy backside and do something for someone else there wouldn't be time to be nearly so self-obsessed. Ug. I make myself sick.

I've dealt with a LOT of med changes over the past 10+ years. They really do suck, but the bottom line is that they're worth it. My old psychiatrist would say "feeling just OK isn't good enough," and I think it really is true.

I believe in you! You can do this! And if you want to ***** about swapping meds, you know where to find me.

Thanks Julie. I may be hunting you down soon.

My post didn't tie these feelings to WLS directly but they are. Since surgery two basic things have happened:

1) I'm rarely this miserable, or even really depressed and
2) meds don't work the same way in this postop body as they did before surgery

Knowing it will all be fine in the end helps and being around you guys helps a LOT. Staying plugged in here helps deal with life without necessarily using food to cope. Going through this at 347 pounds would be much worse.

Amy, like others have I've been through alot of med changes. I have a long mental health history. I'm bipolar...started when I was about twelve (I'm 67 now). Right now I take Prozac, seroquel, lamictal, and klonapin. They've worked for me for 10 years.I can guess how you feel and want you to know that you're not alone. Switching up meds sucks but before this I was on lithium and many other drugs over the years. The switch to this combo was good. Of coursr its's not perfect. But I haven't been hospitalized for many years. There's life after depression. Sending you all good vibes. Write to me anytime. I'm with you all the way. nancy