Orientation, Invisibility and Isolation in Guelph!

See my answer just now under your original thread. I think I just (unknowingly) answered this! Based on my experience.

Thanks for reading my post twice! hahahahahah!! ;-D

I didn't have any sort of group orientation prior to WLS, but I did attend some support group meetings and I made sure to introduce myself to people - even if it was awkward and uncomfortable.

Hey Gwen M! ;-)

I am definitely going to take your tact when it comes to any support groups I go to!

Thanks for the advice!

Guy 57

Big groups of confined strangers are often library-quiet. I was in a silent room full of 300 jury duty people this past spring. No one made a peep! So unnerving. I find silence in groups of people super uncomfortable, so I usually start talking to people who look friendly sitting near me.

Hello Cecily C! ;-)

First of all.. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROGRESS SO FAR! Well done!

Now I have to say my apologies for having to go to Jury Duty selection. I've done it so many times that it becomes one of life's truly annoying things! I served once... on a rape case... and I wouldn't wish Jury duty on my worst enemy! Soooooooo stressful!!!

Hopefully you'll be on my next Jury Duty group... I'll be the one who looks friendly sitting near you! ;-)

Guy 57

I must have a jury face that says "pick me". I've been called twice and served on the jury both times.

It was a while back for me, but I recall the orientation was more tense than any other meetings I had after. I was not sure if I am ready to really do it, there were so many people, normal chairs (uncomfortable and small- trying to be as comfortable as I could without getting into other people's spaces. Trying to get it all info, and be able to remember it, etc etc.

I am social person, so any meetings after that - I had to attend 10 pre-op - was much more relax. I become friendly, and I try to engage people in conversation. I met quite a few people in the meetings, and become a close, long term, friend with one of the ladies.

We were a good group, people who had surgery within 2-3 months of each other.

But the first meeting- was full of anxiety, being not sure if I really going to go through with it, how much money I needed (I was self pay) and it I can get it fast enough too not change my mind.

It is up to you to see if any other meeting be better for you.

You seems to be a social person. Maybe because time - look at someone who looks very uncomfortable and alone, and try to make them feel more at ease? I very that it would make you feel better but helping someone else. I know it works for me every time.

Hello H.A.L.A.B! ;-)

YOU are indeed a very social and gentle soul!

I had to laugh when you talked about the chairs and getting into other people's spaces. That is THE most UNIVERSAL truth that I think people who are fat have to deal with! I literally have anxiety about my bum fitting in chairs with arm rests... or booths at a restaurant! In fact, for a certain medical appointment, I sit in my jeep until absolutely the last minute... because I know my bum will NOT fit in the chairs in the waiting room!

As far as fitting into other people's space... don't get me started on that one! I went to a baseball game at Fenway Park... and a friend of mine said the woman beside me.... who was way less heavy than I was.... was almost sitting in my lap! I said it was debatable who was sitting in whose lap! hahahahhaha!!! When in the public... sitting beside someone.... don't we ALL try and make ourselves as small as possible by folding our arms and sitting with our legs pressed together as tight as we can??? Trust me... as a man..... that is NO FUN AT ALL!!! ;-p

It's distressing... but funny .... all at the same time! ;-D

Thank you for my smile of the day!

Guy 57

I can't wait to see the video. Please post a link to it once you post it on line.