Happy at Last!

Six years post op I've struggled to find contentment and happiness outside of showcasing a banging new body and finally being able to eat the healthy food my body craves without fear of creeping regain.

One of my big bug-bears was drinking- I LOVED the fact that I could get wasted on practically nothing post op and really missed the post- food binge feeling of serotonin overload which feels exactly the same . It was ridiculously easy to substitute one for the other and justify drinking after a hard days work and on days off even to the point that people ( like my boss at work and others) noticed and talked about to my heretofore sparkling ) reputation's detriment .

I didn't want to give up drinking though- I tried living sober for eleven excruciating months and discovered it truly wasn't for me. I found having no relaxation outlet profoundly depressing not work and productivity conducive and just not joyful.

Recently I began to find a way to balance relaxation and work similarly to how I had balanced food binging and work - and I am much more successful and significantly less frustrated and depressed now with a drink or two after work enough sleep and just general acceptance of my own limitations. I'm content that I've made the best effort possible towards my goals that day and have found much more self acceptance through regular therapy.

But I find I am still reluctant to exercise or socialize or even garden or shop now : which is funny because I used to focus do much on improving my external environment and especially losing myself and my worries in its details .

i see and respond much more to the big picture now rather than get pushed around by my feelings and cravings : I think after six years I'm much stronger and psychologically less vulnerable and more " normal " whatever that actually means . Maybe it means just being more resilient.

What has been your psychological or excess food or other self - comfort addiction journey post op ? How do you feel now and what are the areas you most want to work on now ? What steps are you taking toward your new goals day to day?

It's interesting that others post about their struggles with alcohol post op and get kudos while I get slammed for not being perfect .

The fact is sobriety is not for everyone and no one should be shamed for posting anything especially if it's honest.

I think many people substitute alcohol for the excess food high they can't get post weight loss surgery and it's important to know how to ratchet that back .

Its actually a very similar process to Overeaters Anonymous recovery where you have to take the tiger ( overeating) out for a walk three times a day but not let it off its leash .

I was an enthusiastic ( and devoted ) twelve stepper years ago and it did help me come control my bulimia . But surgery for my giant birth defect hiatal hernia which was causing burning in my esophagus that I self medicated by eating constantly would have controlled it much sooner and better.

I personally found trying to be sober and abstinent from binging to be incredibly depressing and very non-conducive to making efforts at work and at improving my life.

what has been your experience post op not just regarding alcohol but psychological self comfort? Are you able to function as well as you want to limiting your calories or is there a rebellion where you will only make so much of an effort because you're not getting a reward?

>> It's interesting that others post about their struggles with alcohol post op and get kudos while I get slammed for not being perfect .

Please link to a post where ANY of the regulars say that it's ok to drink.

I'll be waiting.

So;

A) This is obviously a trolling post. It's a well-known fact around here that people get edgy over alcohol use post op. You are also well-known for claiming that every well thought out, proven method of success is exactly opposite of what you do

B) Did you really expect positive responses for the claim that you use alcohol as a coping mechanism?

Don't compare food addiction to alcohol addiction...they are not the same. Food addicts HAVE to learn to control their addiction, everyone needs food to live.

Alcohol addicts DO NOT require alcohol to live. Their tiger does not require being taken out for walks. It can stay in it's cage permanently. You can stop drinking, a food addict cannot stop eating.

I have to respectfully disagree with you. The addictions are exactly the same.

It's true that humans need to eat to live. We also need to drink to live. In fact drinking fluids is almost more important than food. An alcoholic still drinks fluids but must choose to not drink alcohol. They still drink soda, water, coffee, etc. They don't give up drinking completely. An alcoholic must choose to stay away from places and people that trigger their addiction (like stop going to bars and hanging out with heavy drinkers after work). An alcoholic must find other ways to cope with emotions and stress rather than avoiding them by choosing to drink alcohol.

Like the alcoholic, a food addict must choose to eat healthy foods. A food addict must avoid fast food, candy, cake, chips. A food addict must choose to not over eat. A food addict must learn to stay away from people and places that trigger their addiction (like avoiding certain aisles in the grocery store, and not going out to eat at a buffet with your old eating buddy). A food addict must learn to cope with life and not use food to cover for stress and emotional issues.

Addiction is addiction. The two are exactly the same.

And I respectfully disagree with your disagreement. :)

All addictions have common elements...I didn't say they didn't. But I disagree. The addiction is to alcohol, not fluids. Remove the alcohol, and they can drink any other fluid they choose with abandon.

Food addicts are not addicted to just one food. So they must exercise control over everything they eat, not just one food. It's totally not the same thing.

Good point, but I have not seen too many food addicts that get fat eating healthy food. We are addicted to crappy food. We gravitate to fatty, sugary, foods because it makes us feel a certain way. All food is not the problem. I could eat carrots and celery with abandon and solve my weight problem just like you said an alcoholic can drink other beverages with abandon.

My addiction is sugar. I use food the same way an alcoholic uses alcohol. I have to eliminate the problem foods just like alcoholics? have to eliminate alcohol.

I would add that I don't believe all people who are over weight are food addicts. There are other factors that may contribute to a weight problem. I believe that alcoholism and true food addiction are the same. AA and OA use the same twelve step program.

Loving the civil disagreement

Unfortunately, that's not actually true about healthy food. Even if a food addict gives up all of the bad food, calories make all the difference. They can't stop eating all food, they have to learn to control that addiction, which could easily be transferred to a different food. If a food addict transfers their addiction to healthy foods, and consumes a large amount of calories, even if those calories are "healthy" foods, they're still going to be fat. Some addicts will eat anything, as long as they can have a LOT of it!

An alcocholic can transfer their addiction to another beverage, but they won't be still be an alcoholic, with all the accompanying dangers.

It is still the same. A person with BED does not know when to quit eating. An alcoholic drinks until they pass out. Neither of them would have a problem if they could stop at one cookie/drink. That's the addiction.

You said, "An alcoholic can transfer their addiction to another beverage, but they won't still be an alcoholic, with all the accompanying dangers." Not true. An alcoholic is ALWAYS and alcoholic even when not drinking. The addiction is still there. They still need to fight the compulsion to drink everyday just as we have to fight the compulsion to eat.