Birthday Frustrations

My birthday is coming up on the 21st of this month, and for the last week the people around me have been feeding me excuses of why it would be okay to get a cake for my birthday. At first I was polite and happy that they wanted to do something nice for me, but now it's just become a source of irritation after saying no countless times. I've definitely made my fair share of mistakes with eating things I shouldn't (thanks brain for telling me that all the stress will go away with just a little bite of something bad), but I definitely don't want a cake sitting around my house. I've thought maybe the best course of action would be to accept it and see if I can get away with pretending to eat. Maybe they won't notice, then I can give it away at a later date. This is mostly just a rant at people who can't seem to take no for an answer. Have any of you had to really get firm and angry with someone before they understood that no means no?

Try "no is a complete sentence." You don't owe anyone an explanation or justification. If they bring cake, tell them to leave it in their car.

I feel like I've been so clear and adamant. Maybe I'm more timid about it than I realize, since I know I'm on the shy side anyway!

Put your foot down. 'I do not need or want a cake. Why do you need me to have a cake?'

They are ignoring you, and it's disrespectful of them. You don't have to get angry, but stand your ground. Tell them if they bring a cake, they can turn right around and take it home or it can go in the trashcan. Follow through.

You are right, I just need to not be passive. I've told them enough times by now, so if they bring a cake I will have to tell them I don't want it in the house. Honestly, I do trust myself for the most part. I feel like I can have it in the house with guests and not eat it, but it's more the principle now. I said and asked not to have a cake, but it hasn't gotten through, and you're right it is very disrespectful. I would never ignore someone's request, especially when I would know how important it is.

When I have a party in my house - food that I don't want in my house after either hours out with the people - whoever wants it- or in the trash. My friends know I am serious when I asked them if they want it - and I tell them that if they don't want it- it is going into the trash, and trash out of the kitchen. So if they want something- they get it, even if to give their neighbors.

I had leftover cake, potatoes, pasta, etc. My partner eat that - but small amounts, so now, since we are together, I may leave enough for him to have over a few days and toss the rest. Really. Or freeze if it is freezable. In small portions for him to have. Out if sight- out of mind.

There is some food that gets tossed out of our house. Either when it gets too old, or because we wouldn't eat it. There is food that tempts me when it is in the house so I seldom have more than a serving for my partner of it in the house. I may have it for a party, but once that is over- that food is out or put away.

My mother was in hospice and had someone deliver me a birthday cake on my last birthday.

It had been many, many years since I had a birthday cake. Maybe 30 years.

One thing I realized is how greasy and disgusting all that colored icing is.

I thanked her for the cake and put it in the trash. She was happy and I hope I never get a birthday cake again.

She died two months later.

Even before surgery when I didn't care about what I put in my body, birthday cakes weren't my thing. It was mostly the frosting. I hate birthday cake frosting, makes my stomach hurt. I never thought birthday cakes were that exciting, but people love their cake and ice cream.

I'm sorry about your mother, I am glad that you were able to just take the cake and make her happy though. Even if she probably knew it was horrible for you, you were so gracious to accept it.

Yeah, you're going to get a lot of this throughout your journey. This time it's cake, next could be celebration alcohol, special holiday meal, a "thoughtful" person's home baked treats, etc.

There is literally no end to the foods people can't imagine you passing up.

If "no thanks" doesn't work (it usually does for me), the most effective way to shut it down is to say I'm not having x food until goal. I don't actually have a goal. I don't actually intend to start eating x food ever again.

But people understand diet speak, and usually they are fine.

The other one I've used when people don't know I'm losing weight, and no thanks doesn't work is " x doesn't sit well with me." which is a great way of saying gas and diarrhea. That's a definite conversation changer hahahah

There was cake at my birthday. I blew out the candles, cut and served it, and carried on. No one seemed fussed.

ive never had to get angry, but definitely annoyed. I just remind myself people equate food with joy, and just want to share it.

And in the case of my family, food is also how love and caring is usually expressed, so I do cut them slack.

I agree. I've found the best way to stop people pushing food on you is the short and sharp "it can give me diarrhea I don't want to risk it". No one wants to argue with that without looking like a jerk.

It's just sad you have to justify yourself at all. Hope you have a fantastic birthday and kudos for sticking to your food plan.