Would you advise your (adult) children to have WLS?

Definitely.

I knew I needed therapy whether I had the surgery or not. I credit the therapy at least as much as the surgery itself in helping me change my relationship with food.

I am pushing her to start therapy now, because regardless of the decision on surgery the therapy will help. With such a low BMI and no blood pressure, apnea, cholesterol etc. issues I'm thinking it's unlikely insurance will approve her anyway. So if she ends up needing to save up cash for a Mexico surgery, it's going to take time. In the meantime, if she finds ways to retrain her portion sizes and rein in some of her junk food habits, she may find that her weight normalizes without surgery, and she can use the money for something else.

She hasn't started talking to any of the doctors about it, either. We share a PCP and rheumatologist, and their input will also be very important to her decision. I trust both of their judgments on most things.

Something else to consider that I haven't seen raised yet: eating and supplementing properly as a WLS patient is expensive. I'd be concerned that someone could do it appropriately on a college student (or new-grad) ramen-and-hot-pockets budget.

Good point. She's at home right now, so it's not a concern, but she plans to move out next year. She's pretty financially savvy (I taught her with the do as I say, not as I do method LOL) but it's definitely a consideration as she'll likely be supporting herself her last year or two of college, plus she plans to go for a master's program. So the grocery budget is something for her to consider.

Another thing to consider for her is eventual pregnancies (if she's so inclined). I think it's a chicken and egg thing. Pregnancies post op are generally healthier than when MO but you also risk regain that is hard to take off. I didn't consider surgery until my kids were here and my tubes were tied, so it was a 'non-issue'. But, I have several friends who did it the other way around and are now up by about 50% of the weight they lost. After putting in so much work that idea terrifies me, and probably would have made me wait for surgery until I knew my body wasn't going to go through that kind of major change.

That being said, I know there are lots of folks who do it!

As expensive as my supplements are, I'm saving boat loads on food and food related expenses (restaurants, alcohol... even toilet paper LOL!!!!).

This is an interesting thread. And I have more conflicting views on this than I realized. I can see both sides of this. And I don't have a strong answer.

Your daughter is tall and athletic, I would first off be sceptical of using only bmi or her weight as measure of health.

I didn't have any comorbidities. I only really considered surgery as a real option when I saw the impact it was going to have on my longevity and quality of life. Something I wasn't able to see in my 20s. Then, I just wanted to not be fat, and not shop in plus size stores.

For the most part, I don't think I was mature enough in my early 20s to take on wls.

On the other hand, if I'd been exposed to more view points and research regarding obesity sooner, maybe I'd feel differently, and have had a different outcome. Surgery and obesity research has changed a lot since I was in my early 20s.

Which brings me to the fact that it's a medical condition, not a moral failing. If someone was diabetic, we wouldn't be talking about them not being mature enough to manage it. The educational resources, and supports would be there for that person. We just get on with it.

And like older folks, young people with chronic conditions do benefit from therapy and finding like minded people. I have a young cousin with a chronic liver condition, which means no alcohol, and limited simple carbs. It's hard. There's a why me phase (which to be honest, I also went through when I realized I was obese, not just fat) but there are supports in place to give him his best chance at a healthy life.

And yes, young people still mess up,(most older ones too) but surgery is still the best option for many of us.

In my opinion, it's the surgery that makes behaviour change possible for most of us. If not eating junk food, and cutting portions was all it took, none of us would have needed surgery. If your daughter is mature enough to understand the "it's a tool", and "it doesn't fix your brain" I think she could be successful.

Does a younger brain benefit more from intense therapy/behaviourist intervention than older brains? Maybe. Makes sense. Maybe a strong, sustained, non surgical intervention is effective at that age. And surgery can be avoided.

But ive also read the studies about how successful some teens are with wls.

You make a good point about it being a medical condition, and we wouldn't think twice about medical interventions for other medical conditions.

The statistics aren't good for diet/exercise alone. You're right... if it were just about portion control and food choices, none of us would need the surgery.

She is right now despairing at the thought of having to take off some 85 lbs knowing that her history is to take the weight off and then put it all right back on. Just like most of us here.

I'm conflicted myself about it, which is why I thought I'd see what other people think. :) It's not an easy answer to be sure.

At 29, my DD is probably at about 35 BMI now too, and her weight has been steadily going up since her late teens. Though she doesn't have the traditional comorbidities yet, she does have problems with her knees and back at her young age. I wish she would consider WLS, but she isn't there mentally yet. I told her that if she chose to do it and couldn't get insurance to pay that I would cover self-pay.

I would rather that she do it before the heavy duty comorbidities (HBP, diabetes, etc) start unlike me.

I have 2 obese adult sons, in the fall they will be 29 and 26, and they are probably both in the mid 300s.

When I started this journey it was basically in an effort to convince my older son to go for surgery. He is very resistant (anxiety issues) however I feel he would be compliant if he would consider it. I don't think my younger son is there yet. And I do fear wasting a great tool on someone who is not, for whatever reason, going to handle it with the dedication it requires.

I do think often about how my life could have been different if my weight had not been a constant struggle but I am not certain that I would have had the impetus to handle all the change required to be successful long term. I'm not even 100% sure I have it down now.

I would say that with no comorbidities and as an active, athletic girl I would encourage her to start therapy to work on her eating in advance and then support her when and if she decides to go ahead with surgery. Therapy may prove to be enough - and if it doesn't then at least she will have a solid step in the right direction.

I'm assuming that she has seen the good, the bad and the ugly of your surgery. That's an advantage right there. At least she has some understanding of what is down the road if she chooses to go ahead.

I don't know what I'd do; that's a tough question.

On the one hand, I gained all of my weight for the first time at the age of 23 and tried for years to take it off "on my own" via weigh****chers, atkins, exercise, etc. I was always successful, for a while and then gained it all back plus more.

Every time I tried to lose weight on my own and then gained it back, I felt like more and more of a failure. It affected my mental health and self esteem so much. Surgery could have helped, BUT I don't know if I would have been mature enough at that age to be successful, even with surgery, for any length of time.

I'd encourage my daughter to do a lot of real research; read studies and literature reviews about weight loss surgery from valid peer reviewed medical journals, consult with a surgical centre for more info, watch videos on youtube of people who have succeeded with weight loss surgery AND people who have regained. I'd make sure she knows the risks and benefits involved, and that it would be a lifetime of commitment that will affect the way she can socialise with her friends.

Then, as she's an adult, I'd let her make her own choices and support them. Although it's easy for me to say that as I don't have kids.