Update....a little discouraged.

It's been awhile since I posted. As I've posted before, my insurance does not cover any kind of weight loss surgery so I've been trying to find other ways to get it.

I applied for medicaid, but I did not qualify. I also recently met with a weight loss surgeon for a consultation so I could be referred for a grant. The appointment went well and I got a lot of information, but they can only refer two patients per year for a grant so my chances of getting chosen aren't very good. I was told that gastric bypass would be the best option for me because with the other surgeries I wouldn't lose the amount of weight I need to lose.

My parents have been talking to me more and more about my weight. I know they are just worried about me, but the way they say things or make remarks really hurts. It depresses me even more and makes me feel like a failure for allowing myself to get this big. I feel like I'm not good enough and never will be until I can lose this weight. I also started dating this guy a couple months ago. I told him what I was doing and how I wanted to get weight loss surgery. He tried to talk me out of it and saying I should just exercise more and eat healthier because it was safer than surgery. Of course this was coming from a guy who is very fit, retired army...never had to struggle with weight. For awhile I was doing ok. He gave me the motivation to do better. I lost 15 pounds...not much, but it was something. Well he's gone now and I took it pretty hard. I've been quite depressed.

With all of this going on...finding out my chances for surgery are very slim, heartbreak, yhe negativity from my family etc. I've reverted back to my old habits. I'm just discouraged and at times feel like giving up. I'm so tired of living this way, but right now I don't see a way out. So I've been looking up therapists to go and talk to to try and get some of this sorted out. Because right now I don't see much hope. I'm not where I wanted to be.

Here is what I did. I saved as much as I could and sold whatever it took to raise the money. $4400 for surgery and $472 for airline tickets. It was worth everything and more! This is the truck that I sold to partially fund my surgery.

I can understand your discouragement. None of us get surgery because we have it all together. You can go to Mexico to self-pay much cheaper. From what I have seen I would recommend checking out Endobariatic. He does gastric sleeves, but there are people on this forum that have lost significant weight with the sleeve. I also believe he has a partial scholarship program you can apply for.

Good Luck

My only "advice" is to NEVER, EVER GIVE UP !!

What are the chances of you getting a different job - one that insurance, that covers WLS? I was in a very similar situation, to yours. I took a job I didn't particularly want-at much less pay than I was used to-to get WLS. I wound up loving that job, and stayed there, for many years! You just never know!

Since your parents are so "worried" about your weight, can they be of any financial help?

What about Care Credit, or another financial, medical loan? Have you checked any out?

You are about the same size I was, pre op, but 10 years younger. I was 44, with BMI 53.3. My entire HEALTH has changed these past 15 years.

Please do not give up. BE PROACTIVE. Do it for YOU

Never give up.

There's an answer out there -- and you will find it.

Yes, you might have to change your job, even change states. Start researching that now. You may be ready for a change.

In the meantime, check with the surgeon and see if there are any pre-WLS requirements that you can begin working on, in anticipation of getting better insurance. Some ins requires a 6 mo supervised diet. Get that started, at a BMI ~50, (mine was 49.8, not much difference) getting healthier before surgery will help your post-surgery recovery. Ask if you can attend you surgeon's support group. My dr requires patients to attend at least one mtg before surgery.

You may also need to consider more education about WLS, about what it can do and what it can't. I sugges****ching the videos of Dr Matt Weiner. He was not my surgeon and I don't even know him personally, but his videos are a great place to start. http://drmatthewweiner.com/non-surgical-weight-loss-video/ The non-surg videos are at the top and the surg videos start halfway down.

There will be times and challenges after WLS when you might feel similar feelings, so learning how to navigte them in a healthy way now will help you keep the wt off long term.

Like others have said, do not give up. Keep looking. You family has not understood for many years, do not hold your breath waiting for them to change anytime soon.

Since your parents are so invested in your weight, are they interested in paying for your surgery or taking out loans to pay for it?

I'm glad you're looking for a therapist - I feel that therapy is super useful whether you have WLS or not. Please remember, in your search, that it might take you a few tries to find a therapist that clicks with you. Don't give up if the first one you find isn't optimal!

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement. It means a lot to me.

I get discouraged from time to time and honestly not in the best place right now...and even though I feel like giving up, I'm not going to. It hasn't been easy being this obese for years and it's not going to be an easy road To surgery. I am going to keep trying everything that I can. I think at this point my best option is to get a different job with insurance to cover it. I have been and still am applying for jobs daily. Praying that something will come through. My parents are only able to help me pay so much. They helped me pay for my consultation appointment which I'm extremely grateful for. I hate asking them for more. Just trying to do this on my own.

You guys are such an inspiration with all that you've gone through and achieved. Even though I've been feeling down lately, you've given me hope.