I much prefer the Mustang over the Corvette... good choice!

So, there are other hormones at play, and even men need a certain level of estrogen. You might want to find a 'specialty' clinic around your town that deals specifically with men's sex drives. They will most likely be more in tune with the specific hormones you'll need.

I went on HRT treatments several months ago... I'm 52, and after losing all that weight I wasn't interested in sex AT ALL... I totally understand that feeling of 'meh', sex isn't important... it got much better once we got my estrogen and testosterone levels up.

Good luck! I bet you can get it figured out eventually :)

How did you locate the specialty clinic? I specifically got referred to a urologist for this issue, and he's the one that told me there is no physical/biological reason for my non-existent libido. What type of clinic would specialize in men's sex drives?

So here in Oklahoma City, there's a place called the Oklahoma Men's Clinic... they have commercials on the radio all the time, as well as billboards...

I just did a quick google search and they came up when I typed in Men's sex drive clinic (maybe not the most PC search, especially at work, but it brought them up first! LOL)

Huh, I just went on a google hunt armed with this info and am not having much luck. We don't seem to have a targeted clinic like you have there in OKC. The only specialized men's clinic we have is "Michigan ED Clinics" which deals specifically (per their website) with "Impotence, Erectile Dysfunciton and Premature ***********". Those aren't the issue.....

Then I found a site called sexualhealthmatters.org where you can search your state for a provider - I get 3 matches. All 3 are urologists, which is the exact type of doctor I've been seeing and receiving treatment from these last few months. The one that has said he can't help me. Perhaps a different urologist is an option, but doesn't fill me with optimism!

I guess I'll speak with my therapist next week, she may also have a recommendation for a doctor she has had success referring people to in the past.

My inner horn-dog jumped the fence and was never heard from again. My doc shrugged it off, blaming perimenopause (I'm 47), blah blah. I've been married 27 years and love the closeness during intimacy, but like you, I just don't crave the act of sex. Being that I love the closeness and don't want Hubs to feel rejected, I will oblige most requests, and he knows not to take it personally that I'm not jumping his bones like a teenager anymore.

Yeah, this pretty well summarizes how I feel. Except for the clothes. I really enjoy the fact that for the first time in my life I can go into any store and buy any clothes that I like. I find that liberating and I take advantage of that. As my 12-year old fighter has said a number of times "dad, your style is so much better since you've lost weight" to which I always reply "because now i have options".

But as as to the physical part, that's pretty much spot on.

I love this thread! You are definitely not alone

I am 49 yo and post menopausal. I have absolutely no desire for sex.

I get hit on a lot and I don't respond--part of me is a wall flower comfortable in the background. Kitty, the post menopausal Diva, has closed shop and is quite happy.

Once in a while, I will spot an attractive male, smile & grin, strike up a conversation, then think "Oh my God, he will want sex at some point!" Kitty reminds me she is not interested in bedtime aerobics and the flirting stops immediately!

I would love to have a non-sexual companion but I know that is wishful thinking on my part.

Yeah, I'm really glad I posted this, and have gotten a lot of great advice as well as good discussion. It is comforting to know that I'm not crazy, or "the only one", but that this is a legitimate issue. I'm sure it's a small percentage of people, but after reading so many threads about how amazing sex is post-WLS I did start to think I was some sort of weird freakish anomaly or something.

At least for the few of us that experience this, it's reaffirming to know there are others working through it as well. Maybe one of us will stumble upon a miracle solution and be able to help out the rest!

Get your hormones checked. Even though you are only 43 things may be off kilter. There are doctors that deal with

Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy - BHRT Therapy.

Sorry for the bold print. I have horrible spelling so I copied and pasted. I had a full hysterectomy five years ago. I pretty much wanted to drive off of a cliff. They inject them into my hip. Trust me it is the best thing I did for me. I did have weight gain with it. But it came off right away. So you may want to check it out. My doctor says a lot of men come in for the treatment.

I do feel even though we think we are strong and never thought bad about ourselves. I think deep down we may have. This surgery does make us change. I think it makes us feel confidant on some days were on others feel insecure.