Telling people about your decision for WLS

I'm just curious how/when/if/who you told about your decision to have WLS, especially at work. I'm a pretty healthy person except for my weight (251) and I feel extremely vain for having it, which makes it embarrassing for me to talk about. I've struggled with weight loss my whole adult life and I want this for myself, just feel weird talking about it with people but I'm going to have to, especially my boss!

Pre-op, I only told the people who'd need to know in case I died because I didn't want them to find out I was having surgery from a phone call saying, "Hey, Gwen had surgery today and something went wrong and she died." Morbid, probably, but that's how my brain works. (Clearly nothing went wrong during surgery!) This means that I told my parents, my brother, my partners, and my three best friends. I also told my voice instructor and my massage therapist, because they both needed to know in order to adjust scheduling, technique, as necessary.

Post-op, I told everyone in my life about 4 months afterward. I'd lost ~80 pounds total at that point and I'm a very open person in general so it was driving me crazy to NOT share this amazing wonderful thing that I'd done for myself. By "everyone" I mean "I posted it on Facebook." I was going to be seeing many friends at a convention about a month later and I didn't want people to a) worry that I was sick or b) make up their own gossip - I wanted to control the information that people were gossiping about. The response was overwhelmingly positive.

I knew, pre-op, that I wasn't going to be one of the people *****plied with "diet and exercise" when asked how I was losing weight. I feel strongly that this is a lie because, let's face it, if I could have done this with diet and exercise I would not have gotten/needed surgery. I couldn't do it with diet and exercise and I don't want to make anyone else think that they've failed because they can't do it with diet and exercise. For me, the only two acceptable responses were actual honesty or "I'm sorry, but I'd rather not talk about that."

I also knew, pre-op, that I didn't want to deal with telling people and having to listen to them try to change my mind or tell me stories of "I knew someone who had WLS and they ATE PIZZA AND DIED." Or whatever stupid stories people tell. I didn't want to deal with people who thought they got to have any input in my health choices. Because, you know what, they don't.

So that's what I did. Only a select few prior to surgery, full disclosure to my friends once I knew the surgery was "working," and then complete honesty when asked about weight loss afterward.

I recommend that, if you tell people prior to surgery, you make sure to do it in a way that lacks any hint of doubt on your part because people will latch on to that doubt as an opportunity to try to talk you out of it. I've found it very useful to think up scripts for these conversations prior to having them so that I don't flounder and give people a chance to pounce.

You're right about that last part! My CARDIOLOGIST of all people tried really hard to disuade me during my pre-op evaluation. He flaunted his nurse (*****cently lost 100 through his office) in front of me as proof I didn't need wls.

I was polite and declined that route as something I'd tried before(I'm 50! I've tried everything with varying degrees of success).

Wow!

Like Gwen, I didn't tell anyone other than immediate family beforehand. At work they just knew I was having surgery. Since I didn't say any more than that they probably thought it was "female" surgery. I did start being "open" about surgery perhaps 6 months later when I was approaching goal.

Also as Gwen indicates, when/if you do tell there will be people with negative stories about WLS which they will gleefully share with you (true or not - likely or not).

Thanks for sharing ladies! I told my boss that I'm having "stomach issues". Lol, not a lie, right? ?

I did not share with my work (manager & HR) what kind of surgery I was having. I am not legally required to do so. Months before surgery I started adopting post-WLS eating/drinking rules so when I returned to work that wasn't a new thing that anyone commented on. I also only told my BFFs I was having surgery as my family is judgemental and not always supportive. This approach worked very well for me. YMMV

I told no one. I really didn;t think it would work (IT HAS!!) and I didn;t want to have to explain another diet failure.

That was just me. Other people tell everyone. You get to decide. You do not owe anyone your private health info. At 2+ years post-op and at goal, I am pretty open about it.

I worry about that too...

Really, I was such a diet failure that this was my last chance and I would take it and give it my best shot. I followed all the rules and got to goal weight with 2 pre-determined off-days. After 4 months and enjoyed easter treats (for one afternoon) and after 6 months, I had 1 day of not having protein first at my neice's wedding. I was on the straight and narrow other than that.

If you are concerned that WLS may not work for you, give it your best. If you follow the rules, it will work. Here are my rules:

Slo, Pro, Wa, Wa, Vit

Eat Slowly, Protein first, Wait at least 30 min between eating and drinking and visa versa, 64 oz water (build up to it), Take all your vitamins everyday.

It seemed complicated at first, but after you are on normal food for a week or two, it will be easier because you will know what sits well in your new stomach and how to measure things.

Best of luck on your WLS journey. Keep coming back here - someone will have an answer that will help you