Who do you tell and what do you say?

So personal because it really depends on your personality to begin with.

I'm a pretty open book... but I did refrain from telling 'the whole world' that I was going to have surgery, until after I had surgery... THEN during the FAST weight loss, I was much more apt to tell every stranger that even considered talking to me

Now, like today for example, when I was getting fitted for new bras (again), I felt obliged to explain all the extra skin that hangs over my bras (mostly under my arms, but also a bit on my back) that I have lost a lot of weight recently... but I didn't tell her how (and she didn't ask, or I probably would have told her).

I also backed up my "I had weight loss surgery" with "And this is why, and this is why it's not the easy way out, and this is why it's still hard - because your brain isn't operated on, and this is why it's better for my health"... generally, people never came back with anything too negative because I probably went into information overload with them from the get go!

I told a handful of family and close friends prior to surgery.

After surgery I told a few friends who are MO and who were genuinely curious.

Other than that, it's nobody's business.

When asked, I always said "Diet, surgery, exercise."

My line is "a whole freakin' lot of exercise, and very little food."

Told everyone so they could gossip about the truth and add some spice to it as they went along! One colleague actually thought I was dying! That was funny as h*ll!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I discussed the idea of having it with my husband. He has been 110% supportive through the entire process. We brain stormed if this was the right course. He has been my cheer leader, my support, my person to vent to, and generally amazing.

I then waited until I had a surgery date, because I did not want to have to go back to others and say "Well I wanted surgery but was rejected..." Then I told my mom. I chose not to tell my sister, because she has a tendency to be very negative and judgemental. She is the "You should do X, Y, Z" type, and I just did not need that. I told my daughter and her beau, and asked them to be on my cheering squad. They were delighted and have been really supportive.

I told the folks I work with, because I wasn't going to fib about why I needed the time off. I work for a really nice chiropractor, and he and the other assistant have been really supportive. My boss has been curious, and asked questions about what the process is etc.

Other than that I have told one or two other friends. But the rest I am waiting until they say something.

The process isn't easy, or fun, or the quick way to loose weight. WLS is not a guarantee that it will stay off. But for me it feels like the way to get a reset so that the healthy eating I have been doing in recent years will keep me where I belong, rather than lugging around the extra person I don't need.

Best of luck on your journey.

Hi thegarv

Im only 3 weeks out - had surgery 06/26 but have lost over 30 lbs already. I was selective as to who I told before the surgery. My family and a few close friends plus my collagues (work in an office of 3) so close knit and I took 2 weeks off so it had to be discussed re coverage etc

Since the surgery, people are noticing and I prefer to say I opted to have a Gastric Sleeve. You get lots of questions etc but I have found that all of my friends with the exception of one have been fully supportive and geninuely happy for me. The one that wasnt touted the psychological perspective and my relationship with food etc etc. Then went onto to mention that she just cant give up bread. I felt I had to justify myself and my reasons to her which made me feel quite cross. As all of you know, this is a huge decision and one not made by any of us lightly. We each have our own personal reasons but with one common end goal. To be healthier and happier within ourselves.

For me personally, the decision to consider VSG was made as I have to have a knee reconstruction and my orthopedic surgeon has asked me to try and wait to 50 if I can. His words were "You may not be able to last 3 years but come back to me when you can no longer stand the pain" I was at a stage where the pain was waking me. I wasnt allowed to do any exercise with the exception of swimming and riding a stationery bike. Lets face it - I wasnt comfortable hopping in a pool at the size I was - still not. I knew I had to loose weight but I wasnt disciplined enough to do it souly with food restriction. I would go on yet another diet and loose weight then stop, only to put it all back on again. Basically the same as I have done all my life. I had to end the cycle. It was something I thought long and hard about and spent many hours researching. I also have a history of DVT - the last one was a Pulmonary embolism which is serious. So any surgery is a higher risk for me and one I had to take everything into consideration before deciding. I am so happy to report, I havent experienced knee pain since loosing 30 lbs and it no longer wakes me during the night. I know the only way is up from here and that reinforces my decision and gives me the drive to keep going for whatever it takes

I guess you like all of us, have your own personal story and its up to you how much or how little you decide to share. The main thing is you being comfortable with what you decide and there will always be people who try to drag you down with negativity. One of my favourite sayings when I come across people like that is Just step up, shake off the dirt and keep going

Wishing you well for your surgery. I like many others have no regrets :)

Shirley

(Australia)

I told close family, but won't hide it from any family member if asked. I told 3 people I know from work (but I don't work with them directly any more).

I started new position post-op, so they really had no long term frame of reference. They noticed the weight loss and never questioned me as to how.

No one else knows- my preference. If someone ask me how- I say eating less, moving more and change the subject.

I just say Thank You, it hasn't been easy -which is true. It's been exactly 3 months since my surgery.

Funny story though. Before my surgery I would pick up Chipolte almost every day on my way to work. I work graveyard 6pm-6am. Not bad- just beans rice and chicken. I got to know the employees and going there was more of a social thing rather than a meal. I would take my handful of medicine (for cancer related issues) with a diet coke, refill and be on my way. About a year ago an employee asked me what all the medicine was for and I explained that I had cancer a couple years back and was now on daily medicine. The employee didn't speak English very well but understood cancer and was very concerned. I explained I was good and the cancer was gone.

Flash forward to a few nights ago when I went in and the manager pulled me aside to tell me this employee saw me a few weeks back and was upset that I was "sick" again. I had lost so much weight this employee was under the impression my cancer came back. I stopped in the next day to let this employee know I was okay and actually very healthy.

I thought it was very sweet to be cared about so much by a casual acquaintance.