Thinking Like a "Thin" Person

I wanted to say that I love this thread. Changing how I think about food has been a huge part of this journey for me. I had to get over the shame of leaving food to "go to waste". I rarely want what my husband orders, so I end up having to choose between the lame options on the childrens menu, an appetizer, or just getting the meal I want knowing I will eat a fraction of it. I've gotten used to it, but I find I often have to reassure servers that the meal was good, I just have little capacity. LOL.

I also want to say that while I didn't go through the same kind of trauma you did around food as a child (who in the hell puts an infant on a 'diet'??) I had different traumas (my Dad would physically force feed me, among other things because of my picky palate)... I am having really good luck turning around some of my deep seated anxieties about food through EMDR therapy. Since you relate that you're having current issues that are seated in your childhood experience, it might be something that could really help you.

Here's a link about what it is... http://www.emdria.org/?page=emdr_therapy

Good suggestion. I've never undergone EMDR. Lots of other types of therapy. Being force fed is horrible! Yeah, later I was made to eat my potatoes and bread which I hated! Never wanted bread or potatoes. Just wanted my meat and salad. My body knew what it needed for fuel. So, first deprived of food, then made to eat all of the food on my plate. I suppose they were thinking that if I ate a lot at meals I wouldn't eat between meals? Or maybe they were thinking of the children starving in China? The mindsets are pretty tough to change.

My thin friend, even the ones *****ally like food, don't really seem to think about food much at all.

For me, the change isn't trying to think like a thin person, it trying to CONSISTENTLY behave like a thin person.

Sometimes that means throwing away half of an ice cream cone or feeding 3/4 of a burger to my dog, much easier now that my stomach only holds 4-6 oz... Exercising regularly is more of a challenge, but again, my goal is to behave like a thin person, and my thin friends are far more physical active than my fat friends...

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy! JUST DO IT, and the mind will follow along. Some research suggests that this approach is most effective! I think you've got it going on there!

You bring up a great point. Before, when you mentioned how the woman only ate a portion of her meal and left it, I was going to suggest that maybe (if she did end up eating the entire meal), that was her only meal for the day, or maybe she had worked out that morning, or has barely eaten throughout the week.

I know for me, especially pre op, I would look at my thin family members and see them just devour food. Especially my brother. He could literally binge on anything, and he has always maintained a very healthy weight. I couldn't figure out why, so I asked him. "How can you eat so much and not get fat?". Basically, at family gatherings on the weekends, I see him at his worst. The rest of the week he eats very light. I think that's how thin people think and that's a mindset i'm trying to adopt.

I'm still working on it myself, now post op, it has been so much easier to maintain this mentality. I splurge at times, but then the next few days I'm self-aware and make sure I don't continue to splurge.

The hardest thing for me has definitely been going out to eat, so I try to avoid it. My boyfriend doesn't let me share a plate with him (he's got a big appetite), so I'm usually stuck ordering my own meal. I have always had the mindset that I don't want to take anything home, and I want to finish my meal fresh. Even though I cannot eat a whole meal post op, I feel more inclined to eat the left overs right away, even if i'm not hungry. It's all a mental thing, but that's why I can't go out anymore.

But it has worked for me and I'm slowly starting to feel the mental shift.

Such a good point. For many people, it can be about that balance of splurging and scaling back, etc. After my band quit working and was removed, I maintained that way for a while. We would go out and I would splurge and then the rest of the wee****pt it light. At first, I just rocked back and forth on five pounds, and that was good. Then menopause hit, and I was no longer able to drop those few pounds during the week. The weight came back much more slowly than in the past, but it still came back. I'm with you there; learning to think differently about the need to "eat it all" takes time. I prefer not to go out right now as well. Right now I am so in love with my little pouch and how it tells me, "Stop. You're done."

I used to get so jealous of my family and friends who could eat whatever they wanted. In the past few years things have really evolved for me.

i am no longer jealous, I make a point when it even just crosses my mind, to say my issues are mine and others don't deserve my crud. It has opened my eyes...a great deal. I have kept a good A1c for over four years. It helps me so much to remember that. A lot of my "skinny" friends and family are just as insecure as I have been n the past.

I had at one point considered WLS years ago. I'm glad it didn't happen then...I wasn't ready.

Jealousy has been a difficult issue for me as well. Time has taught me that no one gets away with anything.
I know many "fit" people who obsess over their diet and exercise and who have serious health problems. Eating whatever also catches up with people, so I have learned to focus on myself in terms of how my body works and what works for me. Everyone has some area of personal struggle. I have been heavy my whole life but have low cholesterol, triglycerides, blood pressure, and everything else is in line. I am remarkably "healthy" for a woman my age who has been overweight most of her life. I try to focus on those positives. I do admit, once in a while I want to eat the pie, too. But when everyone is moaning and miserable because they ate too much, I'm glad to feel fine. You make such a good point about the need to be mentally ready for this surgery and lifestyle. If I'd had it ten years ago instead of the band, I'm sure I would have gained weight back and be going in for a revision of some kind by now. I am much more mentally prepared to make this work now.