Getting ready for new me...fears

I've always felt that "I' am separate from "my body", so as I lose, I still feel like me, but it's easier to move, breathe, shop...basically everything is now easier. I do feel like my body is more a part of me now than a weird alien, painful thing caging my spirit.

Like others have said, people are much friendlier to me now. Perhaps because I put up barriers before because I always felt so judged that I tried to shield myself from emotional pain. Maybe I'm just more open now.

Thank you! I too have felt at war with or trapped in my body. I an grateful for the reminder that better living is coming

I do hope to feel as one with my body after this process. I often wondered if anyone else had felt at conflict with thier body as I had. Thank you for your comments

That is me to a T. I am me. I inhabit this body. I have never thought of my body as me, just what carries ME around. My goal is to have less body to have to lug around, so that I can go places and do the things that I want to do.

Best of luck and welcome to the adventure.

The first time I was up for lap band surgery, I let fear pull me back. Two years later, unable to lose the weight on my own (of course!), I went ahead with the surgery. And a few months ago going in for the revision surgery, I was also fearful again, over many things, but mostly of change. Humans crave change, but we also fear it. We get comfortable, even in our misery, and the prospect of leaving that place is frightening.

I have lost all of my weight before, and the problem for me was not so much in the way I perceived my own body; it was the way everyone else treated me differently when I was no longer fat. They were much nicer, much more attentive, much more respectful. That confused me. I experienced it in high school when I lost 60 pounds over the summer, and again in college when I lost 150 pounds. The result for me, as some have already stated, was that I became stronger in my own sense of self and realized I did not need the "approval" of others. Sure, it's a nice thing, but they were not approving of my character or my intellect or my talent; they were only approving of my appearance.

You can still be the friendly girl, but maybe you will be a more confident girl. I don't think you are neurotic at all. I think you are experiencing normal reservations and fears. Please don't let them hold you back! I am older and have had about a decade of psychotherapy. From where I am now, my only regret is that I let my fear keep me from getting the RNY ten years ago. You are going to do great and you will be brilliant as the slender and fit friendly girl! ;)

Thanks!!! I needed the encouragement. I will re-read this as I go on!

I was happily married before surgery as well and worried about what it might do to our relationship. I can honestly say that the only differences have been positive. He eats better now that I eat better and has lost 15lbs (down to a normal BMI) without even trying. Both of us eating healthier and liking how we look more has made us more likely to engage with the world outside of our relationship in big and small ways. He loves that I am happier about my body and is impressed with my weight loss. He compliments me often. As far as the foundation of the relationship though, nothing has changed.