Getting ready for new me...fears

1st time joining a forum so hoping for responses. I am in my 2nd mth of 3 mth before approval for surgery. I can't explain why I am struggling with losing my identity as the "fat friendly girl". I really want to be healthy and strong but I wonder who I will become. Am I normal? It feels crazy. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to find a way to unzip and climb out of my fat suit aka my body. Did anyone else have feara of too much change? I am happily married and he is 100% supportive but I feel like I am neurotic...

I don't think that you're abnormal for feeling this way. I definitely went through a period of.. disconnection with my body when I had lost 100ish pounds. It was disturbing and challenging.

I highly recommend that you find a therapist to work with throughout this process and the losing weight phase. It can really screw with your brain and while the surgery operates on your stomach, you still have to do the hard work of working on your brain so that you don't end up back where you started.

Thank you! I do think a therapist will help with the emotional roller coaster. This forum has also helped so much already. Knowing others have dealt with all of this before and understand is invaluable.

I was basically a happy person as well, but I also knew I wasn't living the life I could because my body was limiting me.

you will change in many ways. It is so worth it. It's hard to picture everything when you're on one side looking at a new life on the other side post surgery. I remember struggling with that in my brain. That's one of the reasons I come to this forum daily, and connected here.

Thank you you are right it is hard to imagine being on the other side. I will keep using this forum. It is so comforting to know other people have felt and thought what I am as I approach this journey.

I believe there will indeed be some changes in your personality when you lose weight. I am already noticing it in myself and I still have a long way to go weight wise. What I have noticed about myself isn't that I've stopped being nice, it's that I've stopped being a door mat. I always wanted to make people happy even if it made me miserable, I was always apologizing for things that weren't my fault, I never stood up for myself. I'm much more confident to tell people when they are just asking too much of me. Change will be normal, and good, but you'll still be a nice person.

Thank you I am a bit anxious about changing but it sounds like your changes have been very self affirming!

Can you think of other positive aspects of your personality that are important to you? I was friendly but shy before. I feel a little less shy now. I also notice that when I'm friendly to people they seem friendlier back. An unfortunate bias in our society, but obese people are still looked down on.

I was always the smart one... I felt like I could hold onto that regardless of my weight, so I didn't want to, nor did I feel I had to change. I find now I don't feel a need to assert myself as much in a group and I can enjoy listening to others. Part of the journey is figuring out who you are and what is important to you :)

Do yourself a favor, and st thinking in terms of "normal." Normal doesn't exist.

Having said that, many pele felt the same way you do. Most of us continue to have distorted ideas of what we look like, and how others see us, long after surgery. But I know normal weighted and skinny people who all have the same issues.

There are many people who stereotype us based on size. Fat men are either supposed to be jolly, or scary. That sort of thing.

Don't stereotype yourself. Think in terms of healh rather than size.

You'll end up being really glad you went down this road.

Thank you! I do need to keep my focus on my personal journey. I look forward to feeling healthy again