Dating after weight loss

I'm at my beautiful wife online. I dated for a while after a long term relationship went south and I just wasn't happy with what I was finding. Finally I made up a column of everything that I didn't want in a partner. I changed my outlook on what I wanted based upon what I didn't want. Strangely enough once I found exactly what I didn't want I went out on some awesome dates. That was when I met my sweetie.

Sometimes you have to look outside of your normal circle to find what you are really looking for. It may be that this gentleman that you are getting ready to go out on a date with is doing that exact same thing. Maybe he has realized that in his life ,he doesn't want that size two person.

Go on the date. If it doesn't work out it is no big deal. Just chalk it up to another one that gets you closer to the one that you were looking for.

And out of curiosity- HOW do you have pictures of his ex wife? did he show you? ( or did you Facebook stalk?) No judging from me, I assure you!

Ha ha, I wondered that too. My bf gave me the link to his FB after we spoke on the phone "so you can get an idea of who I am". I thought that was really sweet. No pics of ex gfs or his ex wife though.

I do have an odd pic of my ex husband with our kids on my FB. You'd have to really look hard for them though as we separated 8 years ago.

Very good question. Actually I saw her because he had facebook pull his pics and didn't realize that it had pulled those to his profile. It was quite funny but he was embarrassed.

Then I will totally admit after we talked for a bit I crept his facebook. I honestly always try to see what I can about guys before I go out with them. Sometimes I do it in my own full creep style and sometimes we each share the info. I have dealt with a lot of freaks and feel like facebook can sometimes give you a feel for how they are.

Great question by the way lol!

When my husband I met and it seemed things were going well, I invited him to come see me. We didn't have Fb back then 2007. I also did a basic google checks and saw that everything that popped up, was fact. He had had several things published and held a couple of elected town positions so a lot of stuff came up. Inclduing stuff from the colleges he told me he attended.

I work in head hunting and staff recruiting and we use Facebook as a tool as well in candidates we are considering.

Thanks everyone. I am definitely judging him on his looks and I know it's stupid. I also know somewhere deep down that I am pretty amd more importantly a great person.

Online dating has definitely taken me out of my comfort zone, which is exactly what I keep trying to do in my life. I intend on going out with him no matter what but I am just so afraid of being hurt. I realize that it shouldn't matter to me if I show up and the guy ends not being into me but truthfully it does. I admit I have a very long way to go in working on myself.

I also realize that he could have a crap personality or be dumb ad a box of rocks and maybe I won't be into him. My ex husband was extremely good looking but boring and not intelligent and I definitely don't want that again.

I guess I am just feeling really low about lyself lately. A year ago I felt so attractive amd proud of myself. I am still the same weight but lately I feel so fat and old and like I will never be wanted again. Getting dumped by the guy I dated this past year really did a number on me I think.

Oh well. I will just suck it up literally and figuratively and give it a go. All I can do is try.

Please, please, please come back and tell us how it went. I'm feeling a tiny bit invested lol

Aww thanks! That means a lot. I really need to get my butt back on these forums. I have forgotten how much it helps to have people who can truly relate

Me too!!!

I agree with the replies that it takes bravery to put yourself out there. Good for you for dipping your toe in the water and not letting fear get in your way! When I dated online, I made sure to have a full length photo that I felt was truly representative of my body type. That made me feel so much more confident when I met up in person. I wore clothes that made me feel good and I reminded myself of all my positive attributes. We are so much more than just our physical selves.

When I met my husband, I saw pictures of a previous girlfriend on facebook and I was shocked at how thin she was and couldn't understand why he was pursuing me. It turns out, he had dated women with all different body types. Attraction is a funny thing, I'm average looking on my best day, but my husband regularly tells me I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever known. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.